U is for Underestimating the American Spirit

I saw this photograph on Facebook a week or two ago and I immediately snatched it for this post. I didn't even have to read the story to understand the meaning of the photo; it spoke volumes to me. It says to me, "My life isn't over, I'm in control. Bring it."

However, when I read this story about one victim of the Boston Marathon bombing, I didn't want to leave it as just a "share" on Facebook. I wanted it to be an addition to my post about underestimating the American spirit, because that is exactly what the world has witnessed here.

This isn't the only photograph which has touched me in the past year. There have been a few. I don't know how old these photographs are, but they each reached me at a pivotal point in my writing journey, so I want them all here in my compilation of this article about progress and inspiration.

As most of my friends and family know, I come from a military background. My father was a retired Marine. My husband is a retired Marine. My son is an Army veteran who served in Iraq and who is now medically retired. So, it shouldn't be a surprise that this photo also inspires my post today.

Here I see this super sexy guy, and he's confident, determined, and very much still in the game. This is the American spirit I see and appreciate. It reminds me of what this country stands for. Not what it has become. There are still some who will never give in, who will always remain hopeful for our future, and who, despite their own setbacks, will continue to inspire and give hope to others.


Sometime last year, a regular mammogram revealed an area of concern and my doctor scheduled a punch biopsy. I wasn't sure what to expect, but immediately I began thinking of my options, my husband having gone through a cancer diagnosis 2 years earlier.

That is why when I saw this photograph for the first time, I was filled with hope and I thought, "If I come out of this with a double mastectomy, I'm going to finally give in and get that tattoo I've always wanted of the fire dragon wrapped around a castle." I don't care if you think it's lame, Diane. Getting back to the nature of this post.

We are divided by many things. Politics gets us pitted against one another. So does religion, racial inequalities, gender inequality, and so many other divisive elements for which we refuse to enter into dialogue for whatever reason. Maybe it's a tool for those who benefit from the division. Remember when your kids did it? Divide and conquer.

We parents knew how to deal with it: the united front. Let us not turn our heads to the divisive, but see it for what it is and move along. Let us see the truly beautiful in people who still believe. There is hope. You just have to step toward the side of positive and let's create many instances of this type of media, rather than accepting the feed of those nuggets which divide and conquer, because what are we trying to conquer here anyway? Share and re-tweet positives!

The inclusion of these photos into my post today is my way of sharing what I believe is important in healing as a nation and reflecting as individuals. It's important that you know, regardless of your need to be right, your need to win, or your need to be on top of any situation, there are people who have won while our eyes have been shut.

Take a moment to reflect on what it means to truly win at life. What strengths in people have you witnessed in the past? Have they inspired you to look beyond the bleak and foreboding obstacles which threaten your happiness?

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It Is Not Okay To Be Okay

When you've had an eventful day, do you ever sit down and ponder the world? I read articles and magazines about our social climate all the time and I'm baffled by how much we've changed throughout the past 20 years. People seem to be more disconnected in an extreme way and it scares me.

These are the things I want to consciously convey within the stories I tell, because these are the things important to me and my understanding of humanity.
Five Okays and Not Okays

It is okay to ask for help, because people are kind when they feel needed.

It is okay to thank someone. How else are they to know they are appreciated?

It is okay to say I'm sorry in private, because forgiveness needs no audience.

It is okay to disagree with one another. The world will not end if we don't all come together like sheep.

It is okay to be considerate of each other's time as it is a precious resource.

It is not okay to dump your mess on someone else. Ask for help instead.

It is not okay to play dumb while others run around explaining things when something goes wrong. Now is a good time to thank them for saving your ass.

It is not okay to check your phone when you've asked someone a question and are now receiving an answer. They could be utilizing their time to help someone who is more respectful.

It is not okay to call a United States service member a murderer when they are out there defending your freedom to call them such horrible names.

It is not okay to argue with one another and try to change each other's minds about religion, politics, or other individual prejudices. Righteousness needs no acceptance. Just walk away!


Years ago, I would be writing things like:

It is not okay to walk on your neighbor's lawn.
It is not okay to cuss or put up your middle finger.
It is okay to keep your hands to yourself.
It is okay to pledge allegiance to the flag.

Gosh, the world has become so complicated, hasn't it?

Poking Fun of Another Genre

There is nothing I enjoy more than reading about how to accomplish things in a formulaic fashion, like this funny "how to" in writing a bestselling fantasy novel. I'm not writing this post just to share this parody with my writer friends, but to also discuss a very polarizing concept.

Genre nit picking, much like I did in 10 Things I Hate About Romance Novels, isn't as much about picking on the authors as it is about picking on the elements of each genre. Each has its brand, its look and feel. There is a reason for this. They all serve a different purpose and reach different audiences. However, each has the same mission, to feed the hungry minds of readers all around the world.

Keep in mind, and I discovered this recently, each also has their share of hard-core enthusiasts who will fight you tooth and nail if you poke fun of their favorite genre in any form or fashion. So, imagine the flurry of comments on our Facebook group when another writer posted the same link. Some laughed out loud in a textual sort of way; others were indifferent and simply stated it was funny. 

Now you're transported to the shower scene in Psycho and the lurking enthusiast pops out of nowhere and berates everyone for laughing and being mean to their fellow writers of fantasy. Instant dose of Debbie Downer.

I thought about this a little more and I wanted to put this in perspective so people who care about the process of writing and producing literature for readers everywhere can learn HOW to support one another in a much diversified community, the writing community.

The world of literature is composed of elemental groups much like the military; each genre is like a different branch of service. The Navy provides support by sea. The Air Force provides air support, just as you might suspect. The Army puts boots on the ground and the Marine Corps is a fighting force of readiness to be first in combat with all branches at their disposal. But, we never forget, they all have the same mission, protecting our great country.

My husband is a retired Marine; my son is medically retired from the Army. I can't tell you how many Marine and Army jokes fly back and forth between the two. The other day, when we were outside my son's apartment, the UPS man drove up with a delivery and asked my husband, "Are you in the Army?"

"No, that would be my son."

"Oh, I'm sorry." They both laughed.

The UPS guy gave my husband a pen so he could sign for the piece of mail. "I was in the Air Force myself," he offered.

"And you freely admit that?" The UPS guy's laughter was genuine.

"I'm a retired Marine." My husband never gives up an opportunity to deliver this tidbit of information when engaged in a discussion with other service members, past and present.

They poked fun of each other a little more until the delivery was made and all necessary documents were signed. I could tell they had a deep respect for one another. One thing they understood, and something which all service members understand, whether they served in one branch or the other, though they all had different uniforms, different obstacles, and very different outlooks on strategy and tactics, they all had a love for their country and strove to protect it together.

That's how we need to understand the cross culture of the different genres. It's not disrespectful to poke fun at the elements of one or the other. It's not elitist to have a favorite. 

There are enough fans to go around. Let's not forget why we each write. The way you support each other is to recognize your differences and understand why genres work the way they do and how each supports the reader base.

Fantasy won't always be popular, nor will romance. Each genre will have its day. In the meantime, let me say this. I support all writers, even those who poke fun with parodies. If it's funny, that author should get props. And, so I say, that was some funny shit!

Do you think parodies are mean spirited? Why or why not?

Fighting For Freedom

I thought a lot about our military and the meaning of freedom this Fourth of July weekend. My son is now 22 years old and home to enjoy the festivities. I do appreciate his service in the US Army and his one-year tour in Iraq, but he is out now and I can breathe more easily.

My father and my husband both served over 22 years each in the US Marine Corps and both retired to enjoy second careers. Therefore, I know I am bias and my appreciation does not necessarily reflect the same as all Americans, but I wanted to mention my family and their patriotism, because yesterday, during a pool party at my house, there was a discussion about military service. Of course there was, it was Independence Day!

I told everyone about an incident which happened when my son came home for a brief visit after a tour in Iraq. He went out with a group of friends to a local bar and someone accused him of being a baby killer because he was a US soldier. I was shocked. When he got off the plane and entered the terminal in his military uniform, most people clapped and thanked him for his service. Even another woman's eyes filled with tears when I gave my son a hug.

Why would anyone call my son a baby killer? Is our country so divided by politics that we cannot even thank those who fight for our freedom, or is freedom something so obscure anymore that we all believe it to be a right with which we were born? We do not have a right to this freedom automatically. There are soldiers who have died in order that we are able to enjoy the freedoms that we do have, and there are soldiers that must still fight and die for our country if we are to remain free.

Our freedom is not ours simply because we pay our taxes and a portion of that money goes to pay for this military. We have our freedom from serving in the military ourselves because the men and women of our military served so that we did not have to.

If you ever hear someone refer to one of our military soldiers as a baby killer, please remind them of those brave men and women who fought and even died so we could have these freedoms today. Should one day our military become weak from the unpatriotic voices of those who do not appreciate these freedoms, I hope you pray to your God when our enemies pierce the boundaries of America and destroy our families.

You might never appreciate something until you no longer have it. What a world that would be...