Making Room for Women with Effective Strategic Communication

You know me. I'm all about the progress. And now it's for the women out there. I'm sharing the presentation I put together in my first graduate level course in Strategic Communication. As we all know, women have been major contributors in the workforce for decades and we still manage to fly under the radar when it comes to being recognized for our talents and potential in leading others, especially in male dominated fields such as science and engineering.

Please feel free to share my work as a reminder to organizations that women have made tremendous progress, and we are ready for some recognition.

Thanks, and enjoy.

You "knocked it out of the park" with your slide design and your delivery. Very well done. One of the best. -- Dr. Chupp

My next class is Crisis Communication. That will be fun. Stay tuned!

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The Humility in Making Progress

When success feeds into your humility rather than your ego, you will naturally attract the energy from others who also desire success as a team.

This is not a regularly scheduled blog post, but I wanted to share the profoundness of what's been missing in the world I'm viewing.

"Be that change you want to see in the world."

I saw this quote somewhere and it became my favorite, so short and sweet. But I recently found that it's not really a quote by Mahatma Ghandi, but evolved from a quote more attributable to the great leader and shared by BRIAN MORTON in his article Falser Words Were Never Spoken, Published: August 29, 2011:

“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.”

Be kind to one another and work toward the best tomorrow you can conjure for yourself and others.  :)  Pass it along in the Blogosphere. This one-minute, inspirational video says it all.

What is your favorite inspirational quote? Share it in the comments below.



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The American Dream - Coming Together

This weekend I opened my heart to America. I had no idea this movie existed until Tim said he wanted to go see it. It came out of nowhere. Was he bored? A documentary? Who goes to the movies to watch a documentary? Why didn't they just put it on television like other historical documentaries?

I didn't have the energy to argue. I didn't want to watch anything about America. I had grown tired of America and the back and forth bickering and debating between the left and the right. I didn't want to be affiliated with any political party, but I've been saddened by how polarized we'd become.

Polarization. I had no idea I would discover this to be a deliberate strategy, that America had been and continues to be subliminally strong armed into voting the way of shame. But I wasn't ashamed of anything and neither are many of my friends and colleagues. However, the narrative unfolding in the media demands we listen and pay attention to it. I'll call it the shaming of America. We're racist thieves and we must be reminded at every opportunity.

Photo I took when visiting Washington D.C.

In truth, I wanted to watch Melissa McCarthy in her new movie, Tammy. I needed the comedic relief, but no. Okay, I conceded after Tim reminded me of its scathing review by USMagazine, calling it a career intervention for McCarthy. How wrong is that?

The hell?

The movie we watched instead is based on Dinesh D’Souza's new book, America: Imagine the World Without Her. I won't go into the details, but the movie is very well put together, inviting far left views as well as representing another narrative which shines a different light onto America and who she is.

We are reminded of the untold stories which make us strong and proud to have come from such a great country. We are reminded of the horrors, also untold, which would show the unjust in the way we approach society today. We are all equally at fault for the America we are building for the future if we cannot come together and build a narrative that is just and accurate.

You cannot fix a problem if you're not willing to have that dialogue. Mr. D'Souza seems to have brought some issues to the table. I'm just not so sure America is ready to have that dialogue. We'll see.

If you're like me and have been feeling a little beaten up by the political pow wow in the media, go see this movie. You'll feel much better!

Everyone in the theater applauded. It was the first time I'd ever witnessed such a thing and it made me feel good about America, whereas before entering, I'd felt indifferent and a little depressed.

I love America. What are your thoughts? Has America disappointed you? Are things that bad, or are they promising?

From our recent visit to D.C.

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A Celebrity Picture Story

I know you all have been wondering where I've been for the past week. Not.

Tim and I visited Washington D.C. and met my sister and brother-in-law there along with a childhood friend and her husband. We showed up on the red carpet, under-dressed for the occasion I'm sure. But it was fun and nobody said a word about our attire. As a matter of fact, they were pretty stunned to silence. It was awfully quiet!

Firstly, we were greeted by the lovely Marilyn Monroe, just as gorgeous as ever. What do you mean she's dead? Look at her! She's literally singing Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

And by the way, after she greeted the philandering...er, President and First Lady, I made it a point to encourage the two iconic figures to enjoy our company. They could hardly refuse.

I'll try not to annoy you too much, Mr. President.

When you start mingling with the heavy duty crowds like the political figures, they get a little uppity at times and think they can run you off by making you feel like you don't belong, but Tim fixed that very quickly. You have to treat his wife (that's me) like excellency or you'll be the one high tailing it out of there. Get it?

Beware, I have a lighter in my pocket.

Anyway, egos flared, tempers culminated into a standoff, but soon enough all was well and we moved on. Why? Because, someone got Tim's attention and his man hairs settled into a nice down pelt.

So this is how you're supposed to treat them...

Julia Roberts made sure he felt at home in the star-studded atmosphere. Watch it, Missy. I can assure you he's not going without a fight. I have to warn you, I pull hair and it hurts. Plus, he doesn't like big teeth.

So now I'm forced to lure my man away from the clutches of the tooth fairy and what better way than to have Mr. Clooney propose to me!

Sorry, Amal, but I think he just got tired of your good looks and humble attitude. I promise you, I won't be signing a pre-nup. There's a price for everything, but I'm priceless. Ask Tim.

Why yes, George, but the pre-nup is a no go.

Alas, I cannot compete with these Hollywood types. They come out of nowhere! How do I show Tim that I'm the better catch? I don't have the money, the fans, the looks, the ASS. I mean look at THAT!

He DID put a ring on it!

Beyonce's got all that, plus a mean ass look on her face. Does she have to rub it in so nastily? Men will be men, I guess. A warning to you lovely ladies out there. A cheater is always a cheater. If he does it to me, he'll do it to you. You haven't won anything! You'll see. Karma's a bitch.

Mmmhmmm. Go on, girl!

So what do we do to keep our marriages going? How do we compete in a world filled with people who believe that beauty is the catch-all when it comes to mating? We put our men in the field, that's what we do!

Sharing strategy!

Keep them busy. Allow them to compete and play hard. There are plenty of sports for them to get involved in and to help blow off testosterone.

Sharing jabs!

Soon enough, they will be so busy patting themselves on the back, shaking hands with their competitors.

I thoroughly enjoyed kicking your ass at Mario Brothers.

They will encourage one another, build future bonds, and share fist bumps.

 and all the while...back at the fortress....we're helping out as best we can to make this a better place, opening lines of communication, and sharing knowledge.

You missed a comma. See, right there.

We're bringing our passions to the table and opening our worlds to younger geeks who are eager to contribute!

See that? It's an integral. Amazing stuff!

Seriously, I had no idea this would turn into a "making progress in our relationships" type of post, but there you go!

And, that's a wrap!

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Racist Intent or Desensitized?

A fellow blogger at the FWA Conference Blog posted an interesting article and my comment to his article grew into a bit of a rant, so rather than post the entire comment on his blog, I decided to share it here and back link to the article. Here's a glimpse:

An author I follow on Facebook posted the other day that she was talking to a middle school group and brought up that one of her novels involved Mexican drug cartels.  Several of the middle schoolers in attendance immediately and forcefully declared her work to be racist. Based on her Facebook post, she reasonably found the experience to be unsettling. 

Read more...

For reference:
       
rac·ist [rey-sist]
noun
1.
a person who believes in racism, the doctrine that a certain human race is superior to any or all others.

adjective
2.
of or like racists or racism: racist policies; racist attitudes.


How does writing a novel involving Mexican drug cartels have anything to do with being racist? If her novel is about Mexican dope dealers selling drugs, smuggling prostitutes, and all other kinds of negative things, it's STILL not racist. So why are we teaching this to our children?

The last thing I would ever do is compromise the integrity of my story by tip toeing around social issues. I think I've mentioned that before. It seems to me the mass media has taken to the role of policing creative inspiration by filling our minds with this nonsense of everything being racist if it is the least bit offensive to any group. I see this more often today than I have ever before.

I guess she could have written about a Japanese drug cartel instead. Only that wouldn't make any sense, because the Yakuza are not as famously recognized in the media as are the Mexican drug cartels. The Yakuza would wipe out any Mexican drug cartel because everyone knows, with over 103,000 members, the Japanese house is, by far, the superior criminal organization.

Now, that's racist. 
         

Personally, I think authors risk more by presenting their characters "out of character" than if they simply tell the story. We've built this wonderful country upon common goals and objectives, yet we came together as people from different cultures and backgrounds, and we're still struggling.

The magic of fiction. I can be whoever I want to be!

Don't you think it's time we embrace Ethnic Literature in the classroom? Let our children read what real authors write about their own culture and people. Let them know it's okay to be different, that our differences are accepted, and it's okay to talk about our differences, our cultures, and our history. The good. The bad. The ugly.

I absolutely loved Ethnic Literature. It was my favorite class in college. I wish I could recall the name of the text book. It was a compilation of short stories by authors of varying cultural backgrounds. I remember stories by Chinese, Italian, African, and Mexican authors, and I was blown away by the unfiltered honesty in the stories they shared about themselves and each other.

I wish people would stop criticizing and start opening their hearts to the dialogue being shared. Get passed the individual shame and embrace humanity as a whole and I believe you will feel less inclined to accuse anyone of being a racist, even if they write fictitious stories about racist characters. At least, that's how I see it. There was a lively discussion about this issue at the end of Stephen King's short story, Herman Wouk Is Still Alive.

I'm not minimizing racism. Racists do exist. Call them out when you see fit, but like the big bad wolf, the boy who cried wolf is out there as well. When he cries wolf too many times, the power of his cry is diminished. People don't hear the cry anymore. It's weakened to the point it's not effective.

Do you think society has been too quick to call things racist or sexist? Is it easier to do that than it is to analyze what's presented before us? As writers, do you find yourselves oppressed and your creative inspirations wilted over the fear of being branded or criticized as was this author?

Halloween in Salem Massachusetts

I wanted to celebrate this Halloween season by sharing a spooky story, but instead, I decided to make a trip to Salem, Massachusetts and visit the Witch Trial Wax Museum. I’ve been asked by many, “What’s in Salem?”

History!

Did you know that the damning evidence used in the Salem Witch trials to convict these innocent men and women who were then condemned to hang at the gallows was this thing called spectral evidence? That means young girls (witnesses) accused certain people of casting evil spells upon them and the way they identified the person is they testified they saw the person in a non-physical state. It was thought that the only way they could present themselves in this form is by making a deal with the devil.

These witnesses would be on display in the courthouse, possessed, screaming out that they were being targeted in the very room where the accused stood trial. Anyone familiar with the Manson trial and the gaggle of young women who claimed Manson spoke to them in their minds from where he sat while they testified? Spooky.

Spectral evidence alone in many cases ensured the so called “witches” hung for their crimes. The fear spread quickly throughout Salem and 20 people were executed for practicing witchcraft before the governor ceased the trials. Why did he put an end to the trials? Because his wife, as well as a few other prominent citizens, were accused. Imagine that.

According to a local museum, to this day, only one judge has made apologies for this unfortunate historical tragedy, and only one of the “witnesses” expressed sorrow for her part in this fiasco. Amazingly enough, we find out this all started from the isolation of three women, Sarah Good, a homeless person, Tituba, a slave, and a woman named Sarah Osborne, who remarried to an indentured servant.

Local magistrates tossed the three accused women in jail and the folks of Salem discovered the power wielded in the accusations of witchcraft. Thus began the wildfire that spread from the underlying family feud between the Putnams and the Porters. Fueled by fear and mass hysteria, things had obviously gotten out of hand, especially when prominent citizens had fingers pointing at them.

How did you spend your Halloween? Trick or treating? Giving out candy? What about haunted houses? We went through this one.

I never screamed so loud in my life. Spooky scary! No lie.

5 Favorite Childhood Toys - Remember These?

I'm taking a short break to enjoy some memories of my favorite childhood toys. I did this with favorite books not long ago, because not only do our memories of books shape who we are, but they also influence how we develop our characters and how they feel about the world around them. Your toys do the same. Here are five of my favorite childhood toys.


Creepy Crawlers (no wonder I'm a King fan)

There was the machine where you baked these hard, rubber squares in an incubator of sorts and you would watch this creature unfold. It could be a spider, a scorpion, or snake. I can't remember what it was called. When all your creatures were fully formed, you'd then have to shove them into this gadget and turn a crank in order to press them back into squares.

Something similar came out years later. I got my son the Creepy Crawlers for Christmas to disguise the fact I wanted it for myself. New technology meets bug making fun. You would squeeze this gooey ooze into molds in order to make your creatures, and the mold would "set" and form solid, rubbery bugs. It was so cool.


Nesting Dolls

My absolute favorite toy was Nesting Dolls. When I think about these dolls, I realize that my O.C.D. was present even back when I was four and five years old. I remember one of the smaller dolls had gotten lost. The whole toy was ruined! Devastation!  My mom put all the dolls back inside to show me everything was fine and that the doll still "looked" the same. But it wasn't the same.

You don't truly understand the meaning of void, not until you've been through this sort of trauma. At such a young age, to have an adult explain to you that everything is fine (when you know they are full of shit) is even more traumatic. Why? Because now you realize you don't even have an advocate who understands and empathizes with your problem. I don't have to see that it's not there. I KNOW it's not there. Don't treat me like a dummy!


Rock Em Sock Em Robots

First, let me just say, here is another example where I was always the blue and my sister was the red. She was the first girl and I was the second, so Sis got all the pink stuff. My parents created this policy so as to not get our stuff mixed up. I would get blue, or one of the neutral colors like green or yellow. The only time I ever got to be the red robot was when I was playing against my dad.

I'm telling you, if children were able to bring a law suit against their parents at such a young age, I'd have sued my parents for discrimination. No lie!


Shape O Ball 

This never went out of style for young kids. I had mine for years. I was pretty good at it from the very beginning. After I knew all the shapes, I would further challenge myself with timed, stress tests. I'm never one to leave myself bored with old toys. This was another reason this toy stuck around for so long, until I became obsessed with numbers and started writing them out as described in this blog article.

Casper Mask

Even when it wasn't Halloween, I would always search for my Casper mask. The plastic masks were very durable back then. I'd keep them for months after the All Hollow's Eve. Whenever the stretchy string that went around my head to hold the mask in place would break, mom stapled it back on. The only thing she couldn't fix was when the plastic edge of the mask would get a small crack in it. There's no fixing plastic cracks, I know.

She put scotch tape on the crack, but that didn't help. Much like the missing nested doll, you knew it was broke, and with time, the crack in the plastic gets bigger and bigger, until it splits into the open eye or mouth areas. Then, it's no longer a mask.

Thank goodness there was always a month or so before the next Halloween. Mom would then buy me another Casper mask.

What were some of your favorite childhood toys?

The State of Florida vs. George Zimmerman - Awaiting a Verdict

I have a heavy heart this evening. I don’t usually speak out on matters in the media because to me it’s just fodder for attention whores and that’s not what my blog is about. I blog about making progress, whether with my own writing (mainly it’s about my writing), or about personal growth within my own family, or even about progress at work in my field of technology.

My heart is heavy today because I’m thinking about the progress of the country I love, The United States of America. When growing up, I didn’t notice so much division. Maybe I was too young to understand the “us” versus “them” concept. We all said the pledge of allegiance and it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe they tried harder to shield us from this division or maybe the division wasn't as powerful as it is today. I don’t know.

It just seems there is more division than there ever was and I’m trying to comprehend where it is coming from, because we on the bottom level, the ordinary people, are trying to make sense of ground zero, wanting to survive.

Now my concerns:

As the jury deliberates today in the case of The State of Florida versus George Zimmerman, I am saddened. I'm not saddened for George Zimmerman or the fact that a life is lost; I've become immune to it over the months.

What saddens me is when these six jurors come out of their sequestered world and deliver a verdict, their lives will be forever changed, and our country will be transformed shortly thereafter. Why?

1. Racial inequality and politics

Though I believe our country has moved forward in civil rights issues, I don't believe that the media and government have accepted this fact. If they accept the forward progress, then they would have to find another means to cause civil unrest so that there may be this need for intervention, thus more government and more bureaucracy. I have faith in the people in our country and in all our diversity. It's the media and politics which caused this to play out for the world to see.

2. A mother's love

How wonderful to put all women on this jury! I'm not knocking an all-woman jury. However, think about it. Their hearts go out to Trayvon's mother, for the death of her son. What mother wouldn't relate? Their hearts go out to Zimmerman's mother, for the potential conviction of her son and 30 years in prison. What mother wouldn't relate? These jurors have a tough job, and I will be thinking of them and the pain they will endure attempting to reconcile this huge mess of a case. Whatever their decision, the world is watching, with scrutiny, and it's just not fair for them to bare this burden on their own. I'm behind them with whatever decision they come to, and I feel for them.

3. The second Amendment right to bear arms

This verdict will change how we deal with the Constitutional right to bear arms. Why? Because, bearing arms has restrictions as it is. We must abide by certain laws before we are able to obtain, carry, and utilize firearms. Better yet, we are required to provide fingerprints, photo identification, and certification of training, before permits are granted for "carry conceal" licenses. Any person who acquires and intends to utilize a firearm without abiding by these rules is breaking the law and has a total disregard for the right to do so.

So, how do we protect ourselves and others without putting ourselves in the same class as those who have a total disregard for human life and the law? We do the right thing. That's not good enough though, because there is room for error, which the law does not provide a definitive clause. We act first, and then are judged later.

Now that I've listed the things which sadden me, let me share with you my biggest fear.

If this is a case decided by defining the perception of "death or grievous bodily harm" we are in trouble. Today, with violent crimes reported in our media, more people are becoming legally armed, many with "conceal carry" permits. If I'm a licensed carrier, will I need to change my perception in the future? Do I need to change my perception of imminent death or serious bodily harm before I utilize my legally purchased and licensed firearm for its intended purpose? Is it even humanly possible to do that during a time of high stress and fear?

If a woman is being raped, does she now leave her firearm cradled in its holster because she doesn’t believe that penetration of her vagina and lacerations from the friction are more severe than a fractured nose and lacerations to her head?

This is serious. I hope I never have to be in a position to place a verdict on anyone, but worse than that, I hope I never have to carry out justice while leading from behind because certain people in positions of authority just couldn't stand up and say enough is enough.

My heart goes out to the Trayvon family AND the Zimmerman family. I just hope we can fix things so this tragedy doesn't happen again, because it IS a tragedy, and a misuse of justice. What I'd like to see is both families come together in a fight to prevent these types of tragedies in the future. We can't heal from this if that doesn't happen.

Millionaire Row Boat Tour in Miami Beach

There are so many things which inspire me to write. One of them is photography. Whenever I have an opportunity to travel, I'm toting along my Canon Rebel T3i. Setting, ambiance, actions, any number of elements can be captured by the camera and later viewed for inspiration.

When Tim and I visited Miami Beach, FL during our 26th anniversary trip, we took a boat tour on Millionaire's Row. If you're not familiar with Millionaire's Row, it was coined during the golden era of the 1950’s and 1960’s when celebrities visited the area, and several new oceanfront condominiums were considered the place to be in Miami Beach.

I'm sharing with you this video I compiled of all my favorite houses from the tour. There were too many, so I only captured and edited my absolute favorites, one of which the movie makers of Scarface filmed on location. Enjoy!

If you would like to view the individual photos for clarity, I'm providing a link to my Google album for this trip. 

Do you have other hobbies which inspire you to write? I don't know why, but every time I view a beautiful photograph, I want to write about a story going on somewhere deep within. Who knows, maybe my protagonist will have to fly to Miami Beach to interview a witness...who happens to live in one of these beautiful homes!

What do you think of the music I chose? Good, bad, indifferent?  :)

U is for Underestimating the American Spirit

I saw this photograph on Facebook a week or two ago and I immediately snatched it for this post. I didn't even have to read the story to understand the meaning of the photo; it spoke volumes to me. It says to me, "My life isn't over, I'm in control. Bring it."

However, when I read this story about one victim of the Boston Marathon bombing, I didn't want to leave it as just a "share" on Facebook. I wanted it to be an addition to my post about underestimating the American spirit, because that is exactly what the world has witnessed here.

This isn't the only photograph which has touched me in the past year. There have been a few. I don't know how old these photographs are, but they each reached me at a pivotal point in my writing journey, so I want them all here in my compilation of this article about progress and inspiration.

As most of my friends and family know, I come from a military background. My father was a retired Marine. My husband is a retired Marine. My son is an Army veteran who served in Iraq and who is now medically retired. So, it shouldn't be a surprise that this photo also inspires my post today.

Here I see this super sexy guy, and he's confident, determined, and very much still in the game. This is the American spirit I see and appreciate. It reminds me of what this country stands for. Not what it has become. There are still some who will never give in, who will always remain hopeful for our future, and who, despite their own setbacks, will continue to inspire and give hope to others.


Sometime last year, a regular mammogram revealed an area of concern and my doctor scheduled a punch biopsy. I wasn't sure what to expect, but immediately I began thinking of my options, my husband having gone through a cancer diagnosis 2 years earlier.

That is why when I saw this photograph for the first time, I was filled with hope and I thought, "If I come out of this with a double mastectomy, I'm going to finally give in and get that tattoo I've always wanted of the fire dragon wrapped around a castle." I don't care if you think it's lame, Diane. Getting back to the nature of this post.

We are divided by many things. Politics gets us pitted against one another. So does religion, racial inequalities, gender inequality, and so many other divisive elements for which we refuse to enter into dialogue for whatever reason. Maybe it's a tool for those who benefit from the division. Remember when your kids did it? Divide and conquer.

We parents knew how to deal with it: the united front. Let us not turn our heads to the divisive, but see it for what it is and move along. Let us see the truly beautiful in people who still believe. There is hope. You just have to step toward the side of positive and let's create many instances of this type of media, rather than accepting the feed of those nuggets which divide and conquer, because what are we trying to conquer here anyway? Share and re-tweet positives!

The inclusion of these photos into my post today is my way of sharing what I believe is important in healing as a nation and reflecting as individuals. It's important that you know, regardless of your need to be right, your need to win, or your need to be on top of any situation, there are people who have won while our eyes have been shut.

Take a moment to reflect on what it means to truly win at life. What strengths in people have you witnessed in the past? Have they inspired you to look beyond the bleak and foreboding obstacles which threaten your happiness?

Visit my Alphabet Links:

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z

Do Asian People See Less?

My good friend, +Brian Workman, over at thegesslar inspired me with this post.

Diversity is a great thing! When you have a diverse group of people who do and love the same things and share a common bond, it is beautiful. Why shouldn't everyone have the same experience with diversity as we fortunate ones who have shed our fears of different cultures and belief systems? Because, they are being educated by those who are ignorant and fearful. I'm not saying it's so bad, but we can fix it.

My friend Brian answered some stereotypical questions which popped up on his Google type ahead for the partial keyword list: do gay people. The suggested choices from Google were interesting, so I decided to do my own question and answer session, representing my folk, Asian people. I'm only a subset, being Japanese. However, I wanted a more general and broad stereotype to deal with. So, here you have my search results and I will answer all of these questions below.

1. Do Asian people see less?

No, we see more. Because of the slant in our eyes, we see everyone as being fat and skewed horizontally.

2. Do Asian people eat dog?

Not in America! Jesus, I hope not. In America, dogs are our domestic pets. We love our dogs! However, in other countries, all different cultures of people eat dog meat, including people in Asian countries. If you were to visit a Korean restaurant, you may find dog meat as an entree, but the meat used in the restaurants are of a particular breed of dog raised for consumption by humans, no different from chickens raised for KFC. You would have to research each country to determine their culture and belief over the consumption of dog meat.

3. Do Asian people eat cat?

See number 2 above.

4. Do Asian people celebrate Christmas? 

It depends on an individual's religious beliefs whether they celebrate Christmas, not their ethnicity. Many Asians practice other religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, etc. However, people in other religions do celebrate Christmas. With widespread commercialism and the prospect of receiving gifts, it is hard NOT to celebrate Christmas.

5. Do Asian people get drunk faster?

An estimated one out of three people in East Asian countries have an alcohol flush reaction, colloquially known as "Asian Glow", a condition where the body metabolizes alcohol nearly 100-times more efficiently into acetaldehyde, a toxic metabolite. Flushing, or blushing, is associated with the erythema (reddening caused by dilation of capillaries) of the face, neck, and shoulder, after consumption of alcohol. In other words, they don't get drunk faster, but they are more likely to have this reaction.

The rate with which a person gets drunk is based on tolerance, not ethnicity. However, differences in tolerance levels are also influenced by socio-economic and cultural difference including diet, average body weight, and patterns of consumption.

6. Do Asian people age well?

God, I hope so! I'm coming up on another 10-year stretch, so thank goodness my eyes have gone first. I try to eat well, exercise, and use plenty of moisturizer. But, hey, we can't stay young forever. Most of the differences you might find in Asian culture, with respect to aging, are skin care and diet. Stay out of the sun and eat plenty of pickled veggies and fish!

7. Do Asian people eat cheese?

If they like it, sure! What kind of cheese? I like Cheddar cheese on my tacos, but I like Swiss with ham. In addition, Mozzarella, not Pepper Jack, belongs in lasagna. Pssh, do Asians like cheese? We like to hear the word when we pull out our cameras. "Say cheese!"

8. Do Asian people have curly hair?

For the most part, Asian people have straight, dark hair. It's part of genetics. However, when mixed with other gene pools, the offspring could likely have curly hair. Nobody is ever happy with how they were originally created. When I was a teenager, I got up every morning and curled my hair for school. Other girls with curly hair would get up every morning and straighten theirs. Who cares about my hair anyway? Is it going to raise my Asian IQ any higher than it already is?

9. Do Asian people tan?

Is this question asking if Asian people participate in the ritual of lying upon a blanket on the beach and exposing themselves to the harmful rays of the sun? Or is it asking if Asian people have skin which will turn a darker shade when exposed to the sun? The answer to the first is, that is an individual decision, not tied to a person's ethnicity. The answer to the second depends. If said Asian had a skin pigmentation disorder, I don't know. I will turn darker when exposed to the sun. I haven't been told that I have any skin pigmentation disorders, so my guess is that I tan and it is normal.

10. Do Asian people have body hair?

We're not born as hairy as the average Neanderthal, but we are born with a certain amount of body hair. Again, this is genetics. When mixed with other gene pools, the likelihood of an Asian offspring having more body hair increases.

I am happy to have dispelled any stereotypes which may (or may not) be out there about Asian people. I don't represent all Asian people, and this post is more based on my own opinion and experience with Asians and their culture, having had more exposure than the average NON Asian. So, if there's anything inaccurate about what I wrote, I don't really care. I'll just have to refer you to Google!

Have you ever had to dispel a stereotype? Was your attempt to educate received well, or has it been your experience people wish to remain ignorant and completely disregard what you say?

It Is Not Okay To Be Okay

When you've had an eventful day, do you ever sit down and ponder the world? I read articles and magazines about our social climate all the time and I'm baffled by how much we've changed throughout the past 20 years. People seem to be more disconnected in an extreme way and it scares me.

These are the things I want to consciously convey within the stories I tell, because these are the things important to me and my understanding of humanity.
Five Okays and Not Okays

It is okay to ask for help, because people are kind when they feel needed.

It is okay to thank someone. How else are they to know they are appreciated?

It is okay to say I'm sorry in private, because forgiveness needs no audience.

It is okay to disagree with one another. The world will not end if we don't all come together like sheep.

It is okay to be considerate of each other's time as it is a precious resource.

It is not okay to dump your mess on someone else. Ask for help instead.

It is not okay to play dumb while others run around explaining things when something goes wrong. Now is a good time to thank them for saving your ass.

It is not okay to check your phone when you've asked someone a question and are now receiving an answer. They could be utilizing their time to help someone who is more respectful.

It is not okay to call a United States service member a murderer when they are out there defending your freedom to call them such horrible names.

It is not okay to argue with one another and try to change each other's minds about religion, politics, or other individual prejudices. Righteousness needs no acceptance. Just walk away!


Years ago, I would be writing things like:

It is not okay to walk on your neighbor's lawn.
It is not okay to cuss or put up your middle finger.
It is okay to keep your hands to yourself.
It is okay to pledge allegiance to the flag.

Gosh, the world has become so complicated, hasn't it?

You Didn't Write That

Can you imagine if someone told you this about something you wrote, a creation that came from your hard work? But, someone allowed you the time to write, gave you an opportunity to lock yourself away so you could produce that piece of work. Someone helped you along the way, somewhere. That's THEIR book.

You have to understand this concept, don't you?



I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here. This post is inspired by Obama's unpopular speech in Roanoke, Va. My husband was born there and he grew up there so we watched intently. Did Obama really say that? "That business, you didn't build that. Other people did, tax dollars built that."

Okay, let me calm my mother down. She's fixing to turn over in her grave. Wait, she's in an urn on my mantle. Forget that.

Let me explain.

My mother didn't speak a bit of English when she came to this country after marrying my father. She raised us kids and was a stay at home mother. However, when my parents' marriage went on the decline, my mother decided she had to work and make her own income. My father eventually left her for a younger woman and she had to work two other part time jobs in order to take care of three children.

The restaurant where my mother worked allowed employee discounts on food, so we ate a lot of Japanese food and my mother saved up enough money (over a period of 5 years) to purchase the restaurant. She worked at her own restaurant as a cook because this helped her to keep the business running efficiently and cost effectively. She owned her business for 25 years, until she developed cancer and died in September of 2006.

Did she build this business? You're damned straight she did!

Did she drive to work on roads built with tax dollars? Yes. Did she PAY taxes? Yes. So, she paid tax dollars that built roads she used to drive her ass to work, to HER business.

Sorry, mom. I promise I won't vote for this man!

Why You Shouldn't Mix Genres

We're in Panama City Beach this weekend for my daughter's cheer competition. That means we get to try out new restaurants, one of which we braved this morning. It wasn't a franchise such as Denny's, Shoney's or even an iHop. We ate at Captain Joe's. Better yet, it was advertised as Captain Joe's Breakfast Buffet, MmmmmMmmmm!

We were greeted by a Chinese lady. I have not a thing against the Chinese. As a matter of fact, I absolutely love Chinese food, and fully expect to see a staff of Chinese folk on duty when I eat lunch at The New China Super Buffet on North Monroe St., but that's another story.

After the waitress brought our drinks, she invited us to observe the buffet by bowing in the direction of a stack of plastic plates and a variety of silver trays, one of which contained an assortment of sushi. Say what? We passed on the sushi because we had stopped in to have breakfast, a good old American style breakfast as promised by…Captain Joe, right?

Anyway, we head toward the trays which contained a variety of cooked eggs, from omelets to fried red eye specials. Yep, fried eggs on a buffet. Some were over well, some over medium, and the two I picked were over easy, but they were somewhat gelled on the inside from having sat for a while.

The French toast was burned and the pancakes were cold. The biscuits were not made from scratch. They were the kind I buy out of a cylinder shaped carton when I'm in a hurry and don't want to make a mess in the kitchen. I couldn't begin to tell you about the concoction which was supposed to be sausage gravy. The only things prepared the way I expected were the pre-cooked, "Heat N Eat" sausage and the bacon, since I like mine extra crispy.

The point in all this? Don't delve into the business of pandering to a market that's starving for an all-in-one solution. Don't be a Jack of all trades and a master of nothing. The most ironic part of this dining experience was when the bill arrived on a small orange tray with two plastic wrapped fortune cookies.

Listen Attentively, you will come out ahead

Now, I'm all about learning new things. But, I'm not about to sell my experiments to the public under the disguise of a traditional brand. Maybe I wouldn't have been so offended if the restaurant name was something like Chu Chen's Breakfast Sampler.

My Guy Mitt

by Diane Carlisle

My fellow blogger, Under Cover Waitress, posted about paying taxes on tips and because I am thoroughly entertained by her posts, I pay particular attention to every word. So, you can imagine my angst when she calls out my guy, Mitt Romney, for only paying 15% in taxes as revealed by the release of his tax return. You know I have to defend my guy. After all, I voted for him! Go Florida! By the way, I'm so happy to have been a part of the republican primaries, and the volunteers had an awesome display of goodies to feed us voters.

Back to my rival blogger. She is correct; Romney only paid 15% of his income. He is not currently employed though, so his only income comes in as capital gains, and 15% is the going rate. He invests his money. Why...that BASTARD!

Listen, if all these rich guys didn't invest their money and instead put it all in a safe in their houses, where do you think we'd be in this economy now? Sure, they wouldn't make any money on it, but they wouldn't be risking the "loss" of it either, especially with the economy as volatile as it is these days.

When rich people invest money, they earn money. Isn't earning money a good thing? Or has America become a country that doesn't believe that people should earn money? Besides, he was already taxed on the money he earned, which he now invests. The more you invest, the more you earn, and therefore, the more you pay taxes. Who's getting screwed here? And the guy still paid millions of dollars to charities and 10% of his income to his church.

Earning money is something we all strive to do. Some of us do it smarter and some of us don't. The person who sits at home collecting unemployment because the pay is more than he'd get busting his ass making minimum wage is smart. Sure, he's pissing me off, because my tax dollar provided the program which allows this to happen. Now, my guy Mitt, he's making money off the money he already earned. Nobody's tax dollar is contributing to his ability to do that.

I'm no Mitt Romney, but I think he understands the consequences if he chooses not to work his assets as best for him and his family as he can. That means no wasted opportunities for growth. Don't you want someone like that looking out for America as a whole? Or would you rather the government take risks and gamble with our tax dollars and leave the mess behind for our kids to cleanup?

We need to stop electing people who want to spend our tax dollars "unwisely" and we need to stop worrying about "fair" distribution. Nothing is ever fair. It's not fair that someone in my family got back more taxes than they paid in. It's not fair that we have people going hungry every day, who have to go to soup kitchens that operate off charitable contributions made by people who earn money and pay taxes.


Middle class
$150,000.00 x 35% = $52,500.00 (thousands in taxes)

Wealthy class
$21,000,000.00 x 15% = $3,150,000.00 (millions in taxes)

How is that fair? But, he paid it, right? At least he didn't "forget to pay" his taxes like some politicians.

Let's discuss. Do you believe that top wage earners should be taxed a higher percentage rate? If so, why?