The Merry Christmas Blogathon

Thank you to Maria Zannini for hosting this fun event for bloggers! We are supposed to serve up photos of our Christmas spread. However, my partial family ate out for Christmas dinner since there were only three of us. Everyone else traveled north, so it wasn't worth the trouble to make a spread, at least not of food.

Not all is lost though. I still took photos of our fun filled day. From presents to stocking surprises and family portraits, here are the Christmas day photos from our home.

The stockings were hung from our
decorated mantel.

Even the dogs and ferrets had stockings!

First Christmas tree with butterflies...
and fake snow. When does THAT ever happen?
Don't judge!

We're doing this from scratch.
I swear.

My group. I know. The gingerbread man
looks creepy as hell.

Chelsey's less creepy group. Psst! The candy cane
stripes were made with food color gel, leaving
 the cookie inedible. She gets it honestly. :)

You distract them; I'll grab the cookies!

Family portrait. Not sure what the dogs
were looking at, maybe the ferrets?

Chelsey with her new Lenovo laptop/tablet.
Now I get to reclaim my Macbook. Woot!

In the voice of Austin Powers, "Do I
look sexy? Yeah, baby!"

They don't like sexy, you turd ball.
They like cuteness. See?

Of course, the ferrets had to check out the wrapped boxes. Look what fun Santa brought them!

Post by Ninja and Shogun.

Thanks for sharing your Christmas fun on this Blogathon. I'll be enjoying all of your photos on the 29th. Can't wait!!

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Making Progress is a Humbling Experience

I was so proud of my male ferret, Shogun, when he learned this new skill. Casting rollover is a difficult lesson to learn and it took two weeks of click training, but he finally got it down to perfection. I love this kiddo!

Wait a minute, this journey isn't over yet! Soon after he mastered this new skill, Shogun became confused and did not respond appropriately to new stimuli with which he came into contact. He tried to make sense of his newly acquired skill, but nothing happened when he cast the spell again and again. Even the introduction of a plastic cup duped him...three times!

Then it hit me. Shogun takes after my sister, the new magi. Listen closely, wait for it.

For all my tech friends out there, just because you learn a new skill does not mean you necessarily understand how to use it. You must research and practice. :)

Have you learned something new and techie?  Would you like more understanding about your newly acquired skills? Ask away in the comments below and we shall be certain to enlighten.



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Ferret Flash Fiction - A Furry Tale

A Furry Tale, get it? Hahahaha!!

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Shogun. He was the master of all ferret sages. Shogun carried with him the wisdom of several weeks training, learning the rollover skill. He carried himself with great pride and dignity, and whenever put to task, he accepted the challenge with great poise and inner pleasure a mere human could never fathom.

I accept your challenge, you
weak human!

No challenge ever phased Shogun, and so the master human placed before the mighty Shogun a new task. Extract the pink astral sphere from the domain of The Ninja Spirit.

The hell?! Did you say
The Ninja Spirit?

Before the master of all ferrets approached the domain of The Ninja Spirit, the flying weasel sprung from her abode and pounced on the mighty sage, leaving him stunned. The Shogun, dazed and confused, leaped from the ground and gained his composure.

That's me, bitch! Let's do this...

The Ninja Spirit was half the size of Shogun, and so they each fought their battles in their own unique style. Shogun with brute force, The Ninja Spirit, light and quick. They both fought valiantly and neither waned in their determination to win. The Ninja Spirit, defending that which was rightly hers...Shogun, driven by ambition and pride while seeking the glory in the acquisition of the pink astral sphere.

It's ON now!

When the battle was over, The Ninja Spirit paused with caution, taking in shallow breaths. Still shocked at her loss, she watched on as the ferret sage extracted the pink astral sphere from her branded domain. Without her sphere, she would have to find another place to practice her skills and build on her talents.

Mine! All MINE!!

With yet another challenge mastered, Shogun's desire to return with the sphere to share his success with the master human diminished. It no longer felt like success to simply take what belonged to another. He didn't get any real satisfaction after the acquisition. In fact, he bored quickly by the knowledge he did not actually use any of his skills to achieve this goal.

I will use the transform spell
and create!!

The Shogun, via the creative mind of the writer, mastered the transform spell in only five minutes. He felt better about learning new things, but he knew it would take lots of practice to master this newly acquired skill. But, he was impatient as all hell!

"Transform into a whole bag of
chicken flavored treats!"

Being the newbie that he was at transforming, Shogun made a very shameful mistake. The first incantation of the transform spell usually backfires when seeking objects inspired by one's own greed. Instead of a bag of chicken flavored treats he'd attempted to produce, Shogun had managed to transform the pink astral sphere into a new abode for The Ninja Spirit. A very nice one, too!

The Ninja Spirit learned the transform spell
many years ago, sucker! But thanks.

THE END

The moral of this story? You can take away my spirit, but you can't replace my knowledge. Please read more ferret fun on my blog. If you enjoy my ferrets, Shogun and Ninja, as much as I enjoy sharing, leave a comment and let me know to produce more! They ask that you please like them on Facebook. :)

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The Great Escape - Two If By Stove

Nobody works harder than my ferrets when trying to make an escape from the kitchen. Being that today is Labor Day, I'm devoting some time and space on my blog to salute two very rambunctious and determined babies, Ninja and Shogun, the newest additions to my family.

You might ask yourself how this can help you with your writing, or with any other aspect of your life. Watch the video and tell me if it doesn't inspire you to keep at it, no matter where you find yourself in life, career, or maybe even in a bad relationship that you're trying to turn around for the better. If these two critters can fight this hard, so can you. Happy Labor Day!

And by the way, shortly after this video was shot, Shogun, the lighter colored one, made his escape and I found him creeping around the corner in the hallway. Determination pays off I'd say.

We'll just get out when you're not home.

Always looking for some sort of weakness in the configuration of the new prison,...err, cage, Shogun is determined to find a way to escape from this Alcatraz of all ferret cages. Nothing but the best for my babies. Here is a photo of Shogun before he got himself stuck trying to escape when I reached in to replace a blanket.

Just before he tried his first
cage escape.

Shogun is happy to have his very own hammock. Prison life isn't so bad. He seems to be okay with hot pink.

Don't have a problem with pink, but
fuzzy? Really?

"Can we negotiate another hour of play time? No? Then can we dim the lights please? Maybe put a blanket over the cage so it doesn't seem like we're actually locked up?"

They're not high maintenance. Not at all!

You can say no to this face?

"Can you please keep the noise down? All that cooing and staring at me is creeping me out. Stalk much?"

By the way, I'm a big deal. A really big deal.

Good night!

60 to 0 in one blog post!

Now, get back to work! But first, you have to tell me what you're working on.  =) Go get coffee. I'll wait. Leave a comment.




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Battling Constructive Criticism - Ferret Style

Scholarly ferret has answers.

There are many things we'll hear from critique partners during our writing journeys. I've heard them about my stories and you'll hear them about yours, if you haven't already. These words are hurtful when you first hear them. After all, writing fiction is an art form and the creative soul cannot be judged, for art has value only to the artist. But if you want to sell your art, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny, right?

I encountered such criticisms in one of my first creative writing classes and I can tell you my reaction wasn't pretty. I'd spent almost $400.00 to take this class and I had better not hear anything but how great my writing is and how wonderful my story.

That didn't happen, unfortunately. I heard many things, and I'm about to share them with you. Trust me, I was steaming mad. The vulgar gestures I produced after having read the "constructive criticisms" of my classmates, went largely unnoticed, mainly because it was an online class and my computer shielded me from the rest of the group.


Q: Whose story is this?

A: What the hell are you talking about? It's my story, bitch!

Just kidding. When I was first asked this question, I wasn't sure what folks were talking about. I've introduced three characters already, so obviously it's about "at least" three characters, right?  ...right?

Confused ferret asks question.

It's their way of saying that they believe a story should have one main character and that character should have a story all about them and their journey. Fine and dandy! I get it. For new writers, maybe it's smart to stick to this "template" but seriously, there's more than one way to write a story folks.


Q: What is the main goal of your character?

A: Shouldn't you read more than the first chapter before you ask that question?

This is no joke. Why do you have to know the goal of my character when you start reading the story? Do you want to know the goal in the first chapter so you can then decide whether or not to buy the book? Is more than 15 minutes of reading in Barnes & Noble too much time to waste deciding whether or not the goal of my character is important enough to fork out $5.99? Read the back cover!

Angry ferret's favorite acronym RTFM

Okay, so the goal of my character is to travel to China, unlock the mystery behind the ancient Chinese secret, and rescue the world. Tada! End of story in only one chapter. Chapter Two: Does the Character Meet Her Goal?


Q: Do you expect us to believe your character actually drove off that cliff and survived?

A: It's fiction! 

The answer to this question is obvious. No, I don't expect you to believe it because it didn't happen for real. It happened in my story, and my story is fiction. If you do the same things my characters do and think you'll get away with it, then you deserve to die! Much like the Mountain Man.

Ferret wants you to chill.

Q: Couldn't you change it to read more like "blah blah blah blah blah, "blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?"

A: No, because then it would be YOUR story, not mine.

Writers are so funny when we critique other work. We all do it, but let's be honest. When we like something, we always want a crack at it to see if our version will sound better, look better, smell better, or taste better. Just like chefs, there's always a twist to make it better. Just remember, it's my food you are sampling. If you like it, get the basic recipe. You can always add your twist to it in your own kitchen, when you make your version.

Ninja ferret is not happy!

Q: Why is there so much head-hopping going on here?

A: What the hell is head-hopping?

I seriously did not understand this whole concept of head-hopping. It made me angry for so many people to tell me I was doing this when I didn't even know what it meant. In the voice of a whiny, little brat, "How does Jane know that John is feeling sad? She's not privy to his thoughts."

Can you guess ferret thoughts?

Um, I'm the author writing the story. Jane doesn't need to know that John is sad. I'm telling you he's sad! I know he's sad and because I know he's sad, Jane knows he's sad, and now so do you! Now shut up and read the rest of my story.


Do you recall any criticisms which made you feel immediately defensive about your writing? Please share!



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Writing Inspiration Comes in Many Forms

Don't call me crazy, but I was a bit depressed this past weekend. I wanted to write something so desperately and my brain wouldn't work. As a matter of fact, it worked against me!

Tim asked me why I was being so quiet and I didn't have an answer. He knew I'd had writer's block for the past month and the concern on his face was quite touching, so I blurted it out, "I want a ferret!"

He had this WTF look on his face, but I pressed on, "They're like cats and you can litter train them."

"They smell."

"No they don't."

"They do!"

"Let's go to Carol's Critters. I'll call them and see if they have any. I just want to look at one. You'll see how cute they are and you'll agree that we should get one."

Turned out they did have one and when we arrived at the store, there she was, resting in a hammock suspended from the top of a 90 gallon aquarium tank.

What a coincidence! I have a 90 gallon tank at home taking up room in the garage. Three years of maintaining a salt water fish tank had done it for me, but I knew I would eventually use the tank for something else.

She was a cutie, too! The ferret. The only problem? She was already 9 months old and not litter trained.

Also, I didn't have a lid that would support a hammock suspension system like the one in the store, which is something I would have to get because you can't have a ferret and not add that level of cuteness. No way.

I handed Carol my business card and asked her to please call me when she had new arrivals of baby ferrets and I would return. I couldn't help but notice Tim looked mighty pleased that we were leaving without the ferret. He knows me too well. I'm the compulsive buyer. Give it a week and I'd forget all about the ferret.

Back to my deep thoughts and sadness...and writer's block.

Today was my flex day, so I came home from work and found Tim in the driveway building something. It couldn't be! He had started working on the lid to my future home for Mo and Bo!

"What do you mean Mo and Bo?" he asked.

I must have said that out loud.

"Well, remember, Carol had said that ferrets come into the store in pairs of two. You can't just separate baby animals when they've been cuddling together all the way to their new destination. That would be cruel. Maybe even traumatizing!"

I'm so excited. The inspiration to write hit me instantly and so here it is. Now that I'm done telling you all about my new future ferrets, Mo and Bo, I must go thank my wonderful husband.

Wait, why is he staring at me like that?



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July Blog Chain - Dog Days of Summer

This month's prompt at Absolute Write : Dog Days of Summer

In other words, the hottest and most sultry part of summer. Etymology lesson here. As always, this can be prose, poetry, play, fiction, or nonfiction.

I'm going off the mark here. I was so tempted to write a fiction piece about the hottest days of summer, but instead I'm going to take this opportunity to write up an obituary for Taz, my English bulldog who passed away this summer (May feels like summer in Florida).

Taz, short for Tazmanian Devil, died during the early hours of May 30, 2013. He was 9 years old. He is survived by his two sisters, Maggie and Biscuit.

Learn all about Taz if you have a moment, as this is my contribution to Dog Days of Summer. You will understand why we miss him dearly. Taz, with all of your hang-ups, honey, you were still the bomb diggity!

Please feel free to leave your blessings in the comments below.

Participants and posts:

orion_mk3 -  (link to post)
Ralph Pines -  (link to post)
articshark -  (link to post)
Sunwords -  (link to post)
Diem_Allen -  (link to post)
U2Girl -  (link to post)
robynmackenzie -  (link to post)
Lady Cat -  (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes -  (link to post)
pyrosama -  (You are HERE)
SuzanneSeese -  (link to post)
Diana_Rajchel -  (link to post)
HistorySleuth -  (link to post)
Angyl78 -  (link to post)
SRHowen -  (link to post)

A Kitten Makes Her Escape (video)

In the name of making progress, my daughter brought home this poor kitten who'd been abandoned. The little critter had such a spirit about her, I couldn't give up this opportunity to share my video. Oblivious to her surroundings, she finished off her food and planned for an escape.

Granted, my video production skills suck, but you get the idea. Hopefully, you will agree that this is indeed making progress. Next time, this will not be the mission impossible. It will be the mission accomplished as so eloquently stated by our beloved President George W. Bush.

Enjoy!

P.S. No animal was hurt in the production of this video (maybe a few increased patterns of heart palpitations, but that's okay).

I Saved A Baby Squirrel, Sort Of

Two days ago my daughter ran over a squirrel and she felt horrible about it. The incident reminded me of a time where I saved a baby squirrel. Well, sort of.

It was a cold and rainy day. Just kidding.  Remember; never start a story with a weather report.

First, I have to introduce my tabby cat, Precious. She was a rescue from the Leon County Humane Society about eleven years ago. She enjoys her independence, coming and going as she pleases. Sometimes I wonder if she's not truly evil.

I came home from work one day and discovered a baby squirrel on my front porch. It had two small puncture wounds on the back of its neck. When I heard a tiny peep, I froze. It was still alive. The poor squirrel's hind legs kicked a couple of times. The poor thing's eyes weren't even open yet.

I could hardly breathe for fear I'd signal a “call to action” by the illustrious feline sitting on the porch next to it. I must have forgotten to let her in before I left for work. Either way, she sat there, watching me, tail swishing back and forth.

It was at that time I decided I would rescue the baby squirrel and with what I felt was a menacing scowl, I hissed at Precious. Her agitation evident in the swishing of her tail, she stood at attention. The hissing didn't work, so I jumped forward in a quick motion with one foot stomping down in front of her. She reared back and scampered off.

I wrapped the baby squirrel up in some cheese cloth and immediately called my husband. After fifteen minutes of howling into the phone, I said, "Just hurry home, we have to take it to the vet."

"You have got to be kidding."

"No, get home right away."

I held the squirrel all the way to the St. Francis Wildlife Association (the vet was closed). I rushed the animal into the reception area and explained to the young lady what had happened.

She gave me a form to fill out and while I was filling out the form, I allowed her to take my bundled critter. When she peeled back the cloth to have a look, I was overwhelmed with pride to see it was still alive. I knew I'd done the right thing.

"Ma'am, this is a rat."

I looked up, obviously surprised.

"But it's okay," she said. "It's not a problem."

The thing is, it IS a problem. You see, at every gathering, at every barbeque, at every social event you might conceive a great platform for introducing a story of stupidity, my husband takes the opportunity to share this experience with anyone who is willing to listen. Therefore, I am posting it as a blog entry and sharing with the world so he doesn't feel the need to regurgitate it, yet again, this Memorial Day weekend.

Biscuit - Painting With A Twist

I devoted three hours of my day yesterday to spend some time getting in touch with my creative muse. I've not been coming up with any material to share, at least not with my writing, so I sort of cheated and forced myself into a painting class.

Paint Your Pet was the theme at Painting with a Twist this past Sunday. I didn't have anyone to go with, so I was a bit nervous. First, I haven't painted in many years, and second, I'm not an extrovert, so I counted on being huddled in a corner all by myself the entire time.

That didn't happen. As soon as I walked in, an associate greeted me and placed me at a table with an easel and my name tag. Two other women arrived shortly after and were brought to my table. Their faces lit up with smiles and they were quick to chat. They introduced themselves and we didn't stop talking from that point. We talked about our pets and our experiences with art. They pulled out their iPhones and we exchanged photos of our darling puppies. Before I knew it, I'd turned into a class act socialite.

We put our collective muses to work - chatting, painting and oohing and ahhing over each other's masterpieces. There were over 20 students in our class. Some drank wine; others drank non-alcoholic beverages. I had two bottles of my favorite Sobe flavored water.

In the last hour, all of our creations came together. The amazing transformation of mere sketches dazzled me and it is hard to believe I pulled it off. I painted my Yorkshire terrier, Biscuit. Never in a million years would I have thought I could do something like this, but I did it and I'm going back again.

Is this progress? I think so!

What have you been doing lately to feed your inner muse?

All About Taz

I have a male English bulldog named Taz, short for Tasmanian Devil, the cartoon character. So on with another progress making story, but we aren't quite there with this one and I don't think we will ever be.

You see, Taz is special. We didn't discover this until he was about a year old. It was at a point in time where we realized that he had outgrown Maggie, our female (alpha) English bulldog. You see it coming, right?

After a sudden brawl between the two and a trip to the vet's office, we decided that it was best to keep them separated at all times, because re-attaching Maggie's ear to her head and a $700.00 vet bill was just over the top. That meant separate feeding times, separate walking times, and separate love and affection times. All to be shared with our prissy Yorkshire terrier, Biscuit.

Throughout the past 3 or 4 years, Taz has gotten progressively worse. Not in his aggression toward Maggie, because we don't have them anywhere near each other, but his behavior has become increasingly bazaar.

I first noticed these bazaar behavioral patterns in him when he first displayed an intense fear when a storm suddenly formulated one summer eve. He whined and whimpered and ran behind some boxes in the garage. If you ever seen a 70 pound English bulldog whimper and run, you know how odd that is. I had to stumble back to keep the boxes from falling on me.

I asked my vet about this and he prescribed some medication that was to be administered via a 2 inch syringe the next time a storm hit. It was kind of hard to predict when Taz would need this medication and so eventually it expired.

So we lived with the fact that he'd built himself a safe-haven within the garage, behind those boxes. He would seek shelter whenever he felt the need. It's not that I didn't feel horrible for him, but there just wasn't anything I could think of to do. It's not like you can console a dog with rationale like you can a scared child.

This isn't really the bazaar behavior; it's actually quite common for animals to wig out during thunderstorms. But, the progression of his fear is so bazaar because now he becomes intensely frightened when it's not even thundering. There could be a small cloud in the sky that produces a light sprinkle whose droplets quickly evaporate as soon as they hit the driveway. You can't clear a path quick enough to his bunker that he's built. That is what's not normal.

At some point you would think that fear would subside once it has been proven over and over again that no harm will come from the thunderstorm.

Aside from the increased intensity of fear over the weather, Taz has displayed some more unusual propensities. He lifts his leg and pees on people and defecates in his food bowl. I don't know what to make of this. I'm starting to wonder if he might be a little more "special" today than he was a year ago. And maybe he will just continue to become more and more "special" as time goes by.

Taz