Are You Dealing With Bad Reviews?

I had started a comment on a blogger friend's article and decided to create an article instead because it had grown larger and more complex than what I believe is appropriate for a comment. Thank you, Auden, for inspiring this post.

I'll quote the original question which prompted this response: 

There's a ton of advice out there on how to deal with bad reviews. They like to say "dwell on the good reviews." What if you don't have any glowing reviews to off-set the negative/indifferent ones?

I've had my two short stories on Amazon since 2012 and one of them has exactly one review and the other a whopping five reviews. I can tell you this much. I didn't ask for reviews, but when I got them, I was pleased. I'm far from inspired by the numbers, but I'm flattered by and appreciate the favorable responses by those who appreciated my work. However, I've not written or produced much these days and that makes me sad.

On the contrary, though a bad review has to hurt, it's not a lost cause, because bad reviews are those things that prompt you to explore and improve! Especially if you're passionate about storytelling.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if you feel you're not getting the feedback you desire. Do you attend a lot of writing conferences? I know they can be expensive, but the advice and information you walk away with is so wonderful! Have you joined a writing critique group? In-person group sessions can help your writing out quite a bit. Don't shrink away from advice and constructive criticism. It's out there. 

I've joined both, the Tallahassee Writers Association and the Florida Writers Association. Both organizations have welcomed me in such ways I can't even explain. You need to be around people who are driven and wired the same way you are in order to learn the lessons and solutions of the trade. These folks are willing to be there for you because their struggles are the same. 

Lethal Injection, The Seed is 7 pages, received almost 400 downloads, and I have 5 reviews, 1 from a relative. The story has no action but is described as powerful. How does that happen? Writing classes, conferences, critiques, and encouragement helped my confidence in putting the story out there. It's the readers who will figure out if it works or if it doesn't. If it doesn't work, I agree, it would be helpful if readers would provide better feedback. Unfortunately, they are not required to give anything of value. It's other writers who will fill that void.

So how do we improve as writers and storytellers? Stephen King advises that we read, read, and read some more. However, how do you take the time to read if you're pumping out novel after novel? After all, Dean Koontz does it! He has an excuse. He's famous and people buy his books because it's branded already. Come on! He's Dean Koontz. 

If you don't have the time to read much, do like I do. Audio books! They are great because I pop them in on my way to work, and they start up again when I'm driving home. 

:)

Hope I've been helpful in some ways.

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Get Yourself Some Sophie Kinsella

After the passing of my husband, I needed something to occupy my time and to take my mind off the deep sadness that comes from losing your best friend. I can't praise Sophie Kinsella enough for her stories, and I had no idea how entertained I would become just listening to these two audio books.

In Can You Keep a Secret, Emma Corrigan spills her deepest, darkest secrets to a complete stranger because she kind of gets nervous when her plane is getting ready to crash, and in her last moments of living, it's her way of confessing all her sins before the end. 

The thing is, the plane never crashes. And as it turns out, the complete stranger happens to be going to the same town as Emma because he's the CEO of the company which employs her. How funny is that? It's hilarious and had me entertained for hours.

The Undomestic Goddess is another Kinsella novel which kept my spirits high during some very trying evenings. The protagonist, Samantha Sweeting, is a perfectionist and an attorney trying to make partner in her law firm. When a simple mistake on her part impacts a client by costing them several million dollars, Samantha has a melt down, takes a train to the middle of nowhere, and gets lost. 

When she stops to ask for directions at a huge mansion, she is properly interviewed and accepts a job as a housekeeper. She does everything she can to not blow her cover. She even subcontracts out some of her duties to hide her incompetence.

These stories are hilarious and if you haven't heard of Sophie Kinsella, hopefully these brief summaries will get you out to the books stores exploring some.

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A Memorial to my Husband - Mr. Universe

This is my first post in February. I know I've been pretty consistent in posting at least once per week, if not more, but my life has been turned upside down recently and I am taking some time away to recover from the passing of my husband of 27 years. You all know him as Mr. Universe, the love of my life, and the master of everything that is my world. I guess you know why it has been hard for me to jump back into the swing of things, but here I go.

The best way to share with you is to share my message as it appeared to my closest friends and family on Facebook shortly after Tim passed on February 1st:

I want to thank you all for your support and words of encouragement. I'm reading your prayers, every single one. I just didn't want to respond until I had more information to provide, especially to those who did not realize that Tim had been ill. Tim had a soft tissue sarcoma 5 years ago and they successfully removed it. His scans had been clean for 4 years. However, about 3 years ago, I discovered a pinhead sized melanoma on his back. They removed it successfully and we thought nothing more of it. 

In August of 2013, during a routine scan to ensure the earlier sarcoma had not returned, they found some spots on his liver which turned out to be a spread from the melanoma they had removed years before. They gave him a prognosis of 6-9 months (without treatments). We elected treatments. 

In the meantime, we created a bucket list and traveled about having the time of our lives. He passed just like he wanted to, with nobody fretting over him and nobody being sad. I realize it's not the best way to learn of someone's passing, but it's how he wanted it.

I hope in respecting his wishes for as much privacy as I could possibly allow him, I deserve to at least share his story now that he has passed. 

Thank you! 

Please visit Tim's memorial site and leave your blessings. He made his life in the same manner as he viewed the world and he had no regrets, as can be expressed in this photo I took a few short years ago. It is how I will always remember him.

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Word of the Day - Security

Word of the Day

Security

noun
1.
freedom from danger, risk, etc.; safety.
2.
freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.


Tim and I walked out of Walmart this evening with a handful of purchased goods and the security alarm went off. I was like, "Screw it. I'm running to the car." And I did.

I know this seems childish, but I'm tired of those things going off because some lazy cashier didn't swipe to deactivate the magnetic strip on my new PC game. That's right, it's mine. I paid for it. As definition number one states, I have the freedom from danger, risk, etc. Why? Because I have a receipt that says the product is mine. I am free from the danger of going to jail for shoplifting.

Last I checked, running is not a crime.

Walmart folks probably know they have a loose policy because human error almost always accounts for 99.9% of false alarms. So when these devices go off, nobody cares. And you know what? Nobody came after us either, and then I wondered why.

What if they had come after us? They would have checked our receipt and discovered, yet again, their security system is flawed.

Staff policy enforcer asks, "So, if you were innocent, why were you running?" 

"Because your fat ass was chasing me!"

Um, yeah. I think I did.

So why even bother to have this system in place if you're not going to run after us and check our receipts, or only do so discriminately? Sure it would be embarrassing to cause such a ruckus in the parking lot, but if you're using the alarm system as a deterrent, then you have to police a little better than this, right?

The funnier matter is watching the alarm go off on other folks who haven't gotten fed up just yet. They look around all astonished, turn back toward the store workers, hands and bags in the air hoping for assistance, and all the while, they have shock and disgrace written all over their faces.

WTF!? I paid for this shit!

A worker then walks toward the victim, who has now attracted the attention of every single person in the store, and says, "Oh, that's okay. Someone probably just forgot to swipe the security strip on a product you bought." They wave at the customer and motion for her to go ahead and leave, as if that customer had been officially detained somehow.

This is an example of the second definition of security. The store worker has the freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence. She's confident that something didn't get swiped. How so? Because, SHE forgets to do that shit all the time!

I wonder if you can sue major businesses when their security policies cause undue embarrassment and emotional duress like these stupid false alarms, because if you don't enforce properly, this becomes a bullying mechanism at best.


What security systems baffle you due to their uselessness?




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Social Analytics and Your Story

Have you ever wondered what your impact is as a start up author or publisher, especially if you don't have big business behind you? Stephen King and Dean Koontz don't have to ponder such things because someone else is doing that grunt work. This leads to a very popular question among new authors and publishers in today's digital world, because "sales numbers" are not as important as influence. At least, not at first! We're trying to establish a base and haven't even considered sales. How do we gain traction from the beginning?

We are coming into an age where information is freely available and people out there are proving that this data is more important in gaining power and influence than are sales numbers. Information is freely provided because it is acquired at less cost than past methods. As with drug addiction, if you peddle the product for free and if it's good stuff, they'll come back in droves!

You save money and effort while using today's freely acceptable modes of pushing your data. Facebook is free, Twitter is free. You have all these avenues of marketing potential. But, what do you sacrifice by navigating in the dark with no direction? Your time! And, with little feedback.

What's missing? Analysis and decision making are lacking. All this data means nothing when the other guy is using theirs to make decisions which beat you out in the market place. They know what the data means and they know how to produce more content via reviews and conversational feedback, which in turn allows them to target in a way to maximize on the knowledge they gained by analyzing the mined data they have accumulated. Say what?

Simple terms. What do they have that you don't? Direction and a budget, sustained by years of branding and accumulating that base you're trying to establish.

Here are the questions you need to ask yourself when promoting your product.

Brand: What is your message?

Stephen King: I can produce horrific stories that will make you lose sleep at night.

Mission: What goals have you established which will live up to your brand?

Stephen King: I will write 3 novels that will creep you out!

Scope: How will you reach your goals without diluting your brand?

Stephen King: I will write from my heart and not listen to all these folks who give feedback saying that I should do something other than write 3 novels that will creep you out.

Feedback: What feedback will you utilize to reinforce dedication to your brand?

Stephen King: I will not wait for feedback in the form of fan mail and gratuitous visits to my estate. I will go out into bookstores and institutions who invite me to speak and I will listen to my consumers, the readers of my books. If they're not happy, it's time to change my brand or the execution of my message.

What is your message to your audience?


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Your First Post - Blog Hop

I'm sharing my very first blog post on this site, my only blog site, because I think it's an awesome concept to share the "why" behind your original motivation for exploring and creating. Mine wasn't to promote my individual writing progress. It was more to discover what blogging had to offer for our communications division where I work.

More than 5 years later, here I am. I'm part of this fascinating community of like-minded folks who love to write and share.

Will you take the time and sign up for this blog hop and link your very first post?




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Digital Analytics and Your Story

I spent this past Thursday and Friday engrossed in conversations about digital analytics after hearing from top executives at companies like Coca Cola, Cartoon Network, Turner Broadcasting, Facebook, QVC, and many more who have embarked on leveraging big data to drive their businesses. But what do little guys like me want from a conference such as this? I want to understand how to collect, process, and analyze this data as well, but I'm not trying to make money. What I want to do is provide better content, some product that is more targeted to my audience. I discovered big data is useful to anyone with a goal.

For example, if your goal is to sell more books, you need feedback. If you place 10 books on the bookstore shelf and all ten sell in the first week, how do you know producing 10 more of the same book will have a similar result? How will people learn about the success of your book? How do you know your book impacted the readers who purchased it? Book reviews, star ratings, tweets, Facebook likes and mentions, and shares are those things that help today's producers connect with their consumers.

At some point you need to step away from your product that you've been pushing and take a look at what your consumers are telling you. Marketing is fine, but if you're spending all your time, money, and efforts on pushing your product and you don't look at your feedback, you may be making the wrong decisions, or at least experiencing some missed opportunities.

There are some interesting ways these organizations use big data and their executives were passionate about sharing them. Did you know that Instagram is the number one social media platform used in data mining by smaller organizations which are physical attractions? Think about it. Unlike liking something or sharing an article, what do people do when they visit a physical location such as a museum? They take selfies at these locations and post them on Instagram. Hello geolocation data!
:)

I'm sure the Plaza Resort & Spa will appreciate my patronage. 

Think about your goals. Think about how you can utilize digital data. There is a story in the conversations you have when you build that relationship with your consumer. I think what I'm looking for is that story...

How do YOU engage with your audience?



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Top Ten Replaceable Words

An article jumped out at me while at work today. A link to it in our weekly newsletter lured me away, the title being "18 Common Words You Should Replace in Your Writing." So what do you think I did while reading this article? I mulled over each word and instinctively produced some fresh ideas of my own, not just replacement words. I'll summarize 10 of the suggestions given, then provide my own thoughts.

1. Good - superb, outstanding, or exceptional.

I agree with this one. If you want to say something was good or someone did well, try a little creative back story.

I hadn't had a meal like that since grandma made her chicken and dumplings and won first place at the Greenwich Country Cook Off.

2. New - latest or recent

If you're talking about a recent batch of donuts, wouldn't they be warm and sticky? Choose words which describe the properties of being new or recent. Maybe the smell of alcohol-based duplicating liquid would indicate the recent production of examination papers a teacher passes along in class.

Jackie lifted the paper and sniffed at the drying fumes on the exam sheet Miss Robinson placed on her desk.

Okay, so if you were born circa 1980, you won't get this. Just carry on.


3. Long - extended, lingering, or endless

If you tell me that it's been a long time since you last saw me, isn't that subjective? Maybe I didn't want to see you again, in which case it hadn't been long enough. Instead, be specific.

"Oh my goodness! It's been 10 years since I last saw you."  

"That many years, huh? Seems like yesterday to me."

4. Old - ancient, fossilized, decaying, or decrepit

The frayed laces and the unglued, rubber-tipped soles of his tennis shoes are a better way to describe something in a specific manner. Again, old is subjective here. To someone who grew up poor, that's just the half way point.


5. Right - exact, precise, or correct

It is the right thing to do! Oh yeah? Whose moral code are you following anyway?

She is right. Really? You mean what she said is based on fact? She spoke the truth, or otherwise didn't tell a lie.

I enjoy my coffee with 2 teaspoons of sugar in an 8 oz serving. Just right, for me.


6. Different - odd, uncommon, exotic, or striking

Instead of using the word different, I like to read descriptions which show contrast.

He flung the fair-skinned maiden onto the center stage in a room filled with Arabic bidders eager to make the purchase for her endowments. They yammered in quick, high pitched syllables, and the whites of their eyes bulged wildly from their sockets.

We can assume the lady is different in many ways, including race, community status, emotional state. So, when describing differences, think about why something or someone is different or odd. Let the reader enjoy the difference.


7. Small - microscopic, miniature, or tiny

Another subjective adjective. Babies are small, but baby rabbits are smaller. Here is another opportunity to show with contrast. What if you read about a tall man who had stubby, two-inch fingers and one-inch thumbs. Weird, huh?


8. Large - substantial, immense, enormous, or massive

I agree, large is boring. Huge is better! I like the word ginormous, shared by a fellow geek at an IBM conference once.

If you tell me a man palmed a regulation sized basketball, I will assume he has large hands. When describing mountains, it is not necessary to refer to them as massive. For real, is there a mountain out there which isn't massive?

The reception bill for my daughter's wedding would be considered large or substantial, but mentioning that it totalled $21,000.00 puts it in perspective a bit, doesn't it? Details are more substantive than mere adjectives.


9. Young - naive, youthful, or budding

Please be reminded that old people can be naive too. As a matter of fact, schemers tend to target elderly folk who are more naive in the ways of social engineering through technology and digital media.


10. Almost - nearly, practically, or verging on

Why even use these at all? I think this robs us of the fun in having things actually happen. So what if someone nearly fell off a chair? Wouldn't it be funnier if they fell off the chair?

Do you have any replaceable words to add to the list? 

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Text Enhanced Hijacking Ploy

If you are visiting websites and you see double-underlined links scattered throughout which are different than the style of "real" links on the site, your web browser is likely contaminated by the ole browser hijacking critter.

The text enhanced linking is caused by a technique which infects your browser to create links on keyword search items which link to another site. It's an advertising ploy which is very annoying. You can stop this from happening. If you are a Chrome user, I can vouch for this process. It works!

Go to the Chrome Web Store and download the Ad Block Extension and install it. Annoyance exterminated!

The organizations who use this to get click backs to their site are very annoying. If they had legitimate content of their own, they shouldn't have to maliciously drive traffic from other sites. They should do it like the rest of the world and create rich, valuable content!!

I didn't realize it was my PC for a good while. When I noticed it happening more and more on all of your blogs, I thought it was an epidemic, but then when I visited from my work PC, everything seemed fine.

Have you run into this on your own PC?




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Battling Constructive Criticism - Ferret Style

Scholarly ferret has answers.

There are many things we'll hear from critique partners during our writing journeys. I've heard them about my stories and you'll hear them about yours, if you haven't already. These words are hurtful when you first hear them. After all, writing fiction is an art form and the creative soul cannot be judged, for art has value only to the artist. But if you want to sell your art, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny, right?

I encountered such criticisms in one of my first creative writing classes and I can tell you my reaction wasn't pretty. I'd spent almost $400.00 to take this class and I had better not hear anything but how great my writing is and how wonderful my story.

That didn't happen, unfortunately. I heard many things, and I'm about to share them with you. Trust me, I was steaming mad. The vulgar gestures I produced after having read the "constructive criticisms" of my classmates, went largely unnoticed, mainly because it was an online class and my computer shielded me from the rest of the group.


Q: Whose story is this?

A: What the hell are you talking about? It's my story, bitch!

Just kidding. When I was first asked this question, I wasn't sure what folks were talking about. I've introduced three characters already, so obviously it's about "at least" three characters, right?  ...right?

Confused ferret asks question.

It's their way of saying that they believe a story should have one main character and that character should have a story all about them and their journey. Fine and dandy! I get it. For new writers, maybe it's smart to stick to this "template" but seriously, there's more than one way to write a story folks.


Q: What is the main goal of your character?

A: Shouldn't you read more than the first chapter before you ask that question?

This is no joke. Why do you have to know the goal of my character when you start reading the story? Do you want to know the goal in the first chapter so you can then decide whether or not to buy the book? Is more than 15 minutes of reading in Barnes & Noble too much time to waste deciding whether or not the goal of my character is important enough to fork out $5.99? Read the back cover!

Angry ferret's favorite acronym RTFM

Okay, so the goal of my character is to travel to China, unlock the mystery behind the ancient Chinese secret, and rescue the world. Tada! End of story in only one chapter. Chapter Two: Does the Character Meet Her Goal?


Q: Do you expect us to believe your character actually drove off that cliff and survived?

A: It's fiction! 

The answer to this question is obvious. No, I don't expect you to believe it because it didn't happen for real. It happened in my story, and my story is fiction. If you do the same things my characters do and think you'll get away with it, then you deserve to die! Much like the Mountain Man.

Ferret wants you to chill.

Q: Couldn't you change it to read more like "blah blah blah blah blah, "blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?"

A: No, because then it would be YOUR story, not mine.

Writers are so funny when we critique other work. We all do it, but let's be honest. When we like something, we always want a crack at it to see if our version will sound better, look better, smell better, or taste better. Just like chefs, there's always a twist to make it better. Just remember, it's my food you are sampling. If you like it, get the basic recipe. You can always add your twist to it in your own kitchen, when you make your version.

Ninja ferret is not happy!

Q: Why is there so much head-hopping going on here?

A: What the hell is head-hopping?

I seriously did not understand this whole concept of head-hopping. It made me angry for so many people to tell me I was doing this when I didn't even know what it meant. In the voice of a whiny, little brat, "How does Jane know that John is feeling sad? She's not privy to his thoughts."

Can you guess ferret thoughts?

Um, I'm the author writing the story. Jane doesn't need to know that John is sad. I'm telling you he's sad! I know he's sad and because I know he's sad, Jane knows he's sad, and now so do you! Now shut up and read the rest of my story.


Do you recall any criticisms which made you feel immediately defensive about your writing? Please share!



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My Top 5 Coming of Age Movies

I woke up this morning feeling a bit nostalgic and spent 30 minutes reflecting upon the past. I'm still amazed at how we've gotten as far in life as we have with all the obstacles we faced in our early, formative years. I'm talking to you, the 80's crowd. We're now facing 2014. How's this for progress?

Fast Times (1982)

 Who doesn't remember first love, or rather first spurn? This movie doesn't discriminate. Guys, girls, they all get some form of enlightenment in this coming of age movie. Makes me cringe at times, especially when watching it for the first time with my grown kids, "Hey mom, why do they all sniff the paper like that?"

Mike Damone: I mean don't just walk in. You move across the room. And you don't talk to her. You use your face. You use your body. You use everything. That's what I do. I mean I just send out this vibe and I have personally found that women do respond. I mean, something happens.

Mark Ratner: Well, naturally something happens. I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.

Mike Damone: That's the idea, Rat. That's the attitude.

Mark Ratner: The attitude?

Mike Damone: Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

The Sure Thing (1985)

I had no idea this movie released before Better off Dead, which is the movie I recall being my first love for John Cusack. I was wrong. Either way, you should watch both! The Sure Thing isn't as much about my love for Cusack as it is about the complex relationship his character shares with Alison Bradbury, played by Daphne Zuniga.

Alison Bradbury: [checking her calendar] Let's see, Friday. 5:30, dinner. 6:00, Calculus. 7:00, news. 7:30, shower. 7:45, phone call. Eight o'clock?

Gib: [sarcastic] Gee, I don't know. That's when I rearrange my sock drawer.

St. Elmo's Fire (1985)

St. Elmo's Fire (for me) was the best "out of college" movie EVER! There's a scenario for every level of fresh out of college newbie life, and there's no holding back on reminders of how much it hurts to be a newbie college graduate. Welcome to  adulthood is the message in this movie, but it's a great ride and packs a load of fun.

 Kirby: She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.

Kevin: Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types like yourself to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers.

Jules: I don't know why you're both so worried... So, I bop him for a couple of years, get his job when he gets his hands caught in the vault, do a black mink ad, retire in utter disgrace, then write a best seller and be a fabulous host on my own talk show...

About Last Night (1986)

Whether you've seen the 2014 remake of this movie or not, this 1986 original is a must see. Jim Belushi and Elizabeth Perkins do their supporting roles justice in the 1986 movie about a young couple making a life together despite friends who clearly have plans to sabotage the blossoming relationship. The remake has Kevin Hart and Regina Hall playing the same roles yet they are clearly better suited for their own star roles...in a different movie. Their presence butchered this lovely story-line. The over-acting in the support roles really put a damper on this newer version. Please watch the original and don't let this modern day race for remakes get you down.

Bernie: What do you do?

Joan: Me?

Bernie: Well, yeah for a living?

Joan: [sarcastic] I'm a neurosurgeon, you?

Bernie: I'm a prizefighter. Do you know much about boxing?

Joan: No...

Bernie: I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.

Shrimp on the Barbie (1990)

The theme is love and relationships, but a more substantive one. Rather than overcoming personal barriers and simple obstacles encountered with young love and establishing relationships, this storyline casts a wider net, incorporating social class and ethnic diversity. Cheech Marin has a dual role: the funny, lovable jester, and the supporting friend with a big heart.

Carlos: Hey, do you mind if I use that stick?

Alex: What stick?

Carlos: The one that's up your butt!

Carlos: You can get a lot of suckers to do this shit. I come all the way down to impress Bruce in front of daddy. I didn't come here to be insulted by these bigoted assholes!

These are older movies and though the content, setting, etc are clearly dated, the stories stick to core concepts and solid relationship struggles. Now I'm wondering. What movies stick out from your "coming of age" formative years?




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The American Dream - Coming Together

This weekend I opened my heart to America. I had no idea this movie existed until Tim said he wanted to go see it. It came out of nowhere. Was he bored? A documentary? Who goes to the movies to watch a documentary? Why didn't they just put it on television like other historical documentaries?

I didn't have the energy to argue. I didn't want to watch anything about America. I had grown tired of America and the back and forth bickering and debating between the left and the right. I didn't want to be affiliated with any political party, but I've been saddened by how polarized we'd become.

Polarization. I had no idea I would discover this to be a deliberate strategy, that America had been and continues to be subliminally strong armed into voting the way of shame. But I wasn't ashamed of anything and neither are many of my friends and colleagues. However, the narrative unfolding in the media demands we listen and pay attention to it. I'll call it the shaming of America. We're racist thieves and we must be reminded at every opportunity.

Photo I took when visiting Washington D.C.

In truth, I wanted to watch Melissa McCarthy in her new movie, Tammy. I needed the comedic relief, but no. Okay, I conceded after Tim reminded me of its scathing review by USMagazine, calling it a career intervention for McCarthy. How wrong is that?

The hell?

The movie we watched instead is based on Dinesh D’Souza's new book, America: Imagine the World Without Her. I won't go into the details, but the movie is very well put together, inviting far left views as well as representing another narrative which shines a different light onto America and who she is.

We are reminded of the untold stories which make us strong and proud to have come from such a great country. We are reminded of the horrors, also untold, which would show the unjust in the way we approach society today. We are all equally at fault for the America we are building for the future if we cannot come together and build a narrative that is just and accurate.

You cannot fix a problem if you're not willing to have that dialogue. Mr. D'Souza seems to have brought some issues to the table. I'm just not so sure America is ready to have that dialogue. We'll see.

If you're like me and have been feeling a little beaten up by the political pow wow in the media, go see this movie. You'll feel much better!

Everyone in the theater applauded. It was the first time I'd ever witnessed such a thing and it made me feel good about America, whereas before entering, I'd felt indifferent and a little depressed.

I love America. What are your thoughts? Has America disappointed you? Are things that bad, or are they promising?

From our recent visit to D.C.

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Top 10 Character Flaws That Don't Work For Me

I read once (or maybe more than once, but who's counting?) that characters are more likable when they are flawed, and to some extent, I believe this to be true. I have my favorite characters who are all flawed in many ways, but there are those characters who are beginning to pick at that last nerve. They're so cliched and I wonder why they are chosen over and over again as the favored protagonist or one of the main characters. I don't like them any more because I see them everywhere!


The Millionaire Philanderer

I don't understand this. Why is it that the guys who have money must be portrayed as weak when it comes to women in pursuit? Stop letting these women drape on you like a cheap suit! Sling them to the side and show some self-respect. This is similarly done with the rock stars toting around their posse and loyal groupie bangers. And why are they always extremely handsome? Ever see Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner? For real...

The Deep Dark Secret Sufferer

A great way to expose a flaw for a character who has a secret is for them to perform some odd behaviors like visit a secret grave on the 3rd of each month, or something equally odd. Stop giving them permission to be emotionally erratic toward others with no explanation whatsoever only to have character A tell character B, "Oh, his mother died in a freak accident back in 2010 and he's never really recovered from it. A year later his sister was ate up by some flesh-eating bacteria she got at summer camp."

Of course, this sort of thing might work in a comedic rendition of some reality shows I watch for pure entertainment.


The Damsel In Distress

I'm tired of distress getting rewarded just because it is the more attractive option to the male ego. What about the woman who refuses to be rescued and this causes a man to leave her side and ultimately results in his saving a bus load of children?

Yea, women understand sacrifice, too. We know other shit is going on out there other than ourselves. Some of us can save ourselves. We can also help save others as well. Go save yourself a puppy or something! Readers will LOVE you. I promise.

The Chip on the Shoulder

This dude needs to get out of his own way. Nobody likes this anymore! The bad guys are losing steam because there are too many of them. You know, the opposite of this flaw is the shy guy. I  love me a shy guy, too. Please let's do away with the wise-cracking assholes and invite the John Nash's into our stories, because you can't have enough of A Beautiful Mind.


The Jealous Woman

Jealousy has always been an ugly thing to me, especially in a woman. If you're going to make your character a jealous one, at least give them some redeeming quality like having them internalize it rather than going all out ninja on a bitch. I guess what I'm saying is that jealousy can make a character vulnerable, therefore likable, just don't let it shine in all its ugliness by having your character act upon her jealousies, because then it becomes completely unlikable.

A "like" plus an "unlike" kind of cancel each other out, so what's the point? Unless you're building a villain, in which case all out ninja would be just fine.

The Pained Drunkard/Addict

Sometimes this is done well and I feel bad for the character. Most times I think the character deserves what's coming to them. I'm unsympathetic to these characters. Yes, even though I drink beer and one might consider me an alcoholic for doing so, I still abhor such characters who cannot rise above their addictions.

I want to sympathize, but at the same time it's hard not to want to punch this character in the face and shout. Come on already! You have to get up and be at the courthouse first thing in the morning, you oaf. Put the vodka away for Christ's sake!


The "I  Lost My Entire Family" Victim

I know what it's like to lose a loved one. I lost my father in 1992, my mother in 2006, and my grandmother in 2009. Trust me, putting them all together at the same time doesn't make the pain worse; it makes you more an asshole trying to get a bigger reaction from your reader. How can it be even more painful? Kill the grandmother too!

Trust me tragedy is fine if you do it right. But, if done wrong, the author comes across as trying to make double and triple sure that the reader sympathizes with their character. The character is devastated. He didn't just lose his beloved wife. He lost his daughter, their two dogs, the cat, and their pet goldfish. How could you not feel horrible for this guy? STOP it!


The Washed Up Hero

This always happens in sequels or starts out the very first scene with the hero, washed up and ready to commit suicide. Don't worry! You'll soon find out why he was so miserable. Hello Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon. Loved the movie. Suicidal would be lost in translation in the written form, IMHO.

The visual is a different story though. The tears, red eyes, shaking hand with gun self-directed at his head. Don't do it! Aw, everything will be okay. Whatever it is bothering you, it will work out. It's the beginning of the movie and we have another hour and a half for things to get better. Plus, you're the star of this movie, so you can't die just yet. There, there, put the gun down.

The Arrogant Entrepreneur/Estate Owner

I just read a post today and found out that there is a romance novel "genre" (?) which caters to this situation. I believe it's called Regency Harlequins. I'll research it more and make an addendum here when I have the chance. But honestly, I don't see the draw to such a thing. There's nothing particularly romantic about having to deal with an estate. Been there, done it. It's a huge pain in the ass.


The Stubborn Rebel

The romance novels I've read years ago were not the same as they are today. The men in those books were men. Pure men. They were arrogant, not stubborn. They were righteous, not rebellious. They were businessmen, doctors, professors, and pilots. The romance was written for a different culture back then.

But, I've tried to read romances these days and I can't. It's too painful. The men are like boys. Stubborn, like when a mother tries to get her son to eat his veggies. Yeah, that kind of rebelliousness is not romantic to me. I want a man in this story, not a two year old. Dammit, I'm dating myself.

Are there character flaws that just don't work for you? Did I point out a character flaw here that you actually like and felt that I didn't do it the justice it deserves? Well, come yell at me about it! Or just leave a polite comment. :)






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My Faux Pas While Conducting Research

I'm having an opportunity to review a thriller for a literary magazine and I so want to do a great job, an honest write up. So, what does an avid reader and fan of literary fiction do? We research anything that seems out of place. I think that's what we do.

It's my first official write up, so I wasn't quite sure what to do when I ran across a paragraph that simply did not ring true to me. I just couldn't believe that there would be 50,000 graves in a particular cemetery. Hell, Arlington National Cemetery has 300,000 (yes, I discovered this in my research) and they are the largest cemetery in the United States. Any other cemetery should pale in comparison, right?


So, what did you do, Diane?

I found the cemetery in question on the Internet and I called them!

"This is Lynn speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hi, Lynn. I'm conducting some research and would like to know how many marked graves you all have in your cemetery."

*silence*

*uncomfortable pause*

"I will find someone who can help you with that. One moment please."

Great customer service skills, by the way.

"Hello, Brett here. How can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm researching some information and would like to know how many graves you all have in your cemetery."

"Well ma'am, we have approximately 38,000 folks who have been laid to rest here and within various structures throughout our grounds and facility."

Now the silence was a massive white noise in my frontal lobe, slowly replaced with the knowledge of my faux pas. In my haste to uncover what I felt to be a greatly exaggerated metric, yet a highly insignificant piece of data conveyed in a work of fiction, I'd let my better judgement go and I had approached my target as if I were some insensitive ass. This isn't me, I promise.

So, what did it matter this number? Why did that red flag go up and why did I feel a compulsion to find out if it was true? If you say it was my OCD, that's partially it. It wasn't until I pondered my inner soul that I figured out what actually triggered that need to pull out of the story and go looking for answers.

Truth be told, I would never have questioned this had it not been a well-rounded, convenient number. If it was 46,000, fine! Even 51,000 would not have phased me a bit. I would have continued on with the story without even a single bump. Now I understand auditors a little more.

So there you have it. Stay away from well-rounded numbers, even if you've done your research. It will save your readers some embarrassment, maybe. Not every reader would think to call a cemetery and ask such a thing. Or would they?

Last thing I would like to do is publicly apologize for 1. Questioning the author's integrity (after all, it is fiction) and 2. Being such an insensitive ass toward all the 38,000 folks laid to rest in that cemetery. In closing, I think I've learned a little something about social etiquette.

Question of the day: What was the oddest research you ever conducted and what was the response?



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