Get Yourself Some Sophie Kinsella

After the passing of my husband, I needed something to occupy my time and to take my mind off the deep sadness that comes from losing your best friend. I can't praise Sophie Kinsella enough for her stories, and I had no idea how entertained I would become just listening to these two audio books.

In Can You Keep a Secret, Emma Corrigan spills her deepest, darkest secrets to a complete stranger because she kind of gets nervous when her plane is getting ready to crash, and in her last moments of living, it's her way of confessing all her sins before the end. 

The thing is, the plane never crashes. And as it turns out, the complete stranger happens to be going to the same town as Emma because he's the CEO of the company which employs her. How funny is that? It's hilarious and had me entertained for hours.

The Undomestic Goddess is another Kinsella novel which kept my spirits high during some very trying evenings. The protagonist, Samantha Sweeting, is a perfectionist and an attorney trying to make partner in her law firm. When a simple mistake on her part impacts a client by costing them several million dollars, Samantha has a melt down, takes a train to the middle of nowhere, and gets lost. 

When she stops to ask for directions at a huge mansion, she is properly interviewed and accepts a job as a housekeeper. She does everything she can to not blow her cover. She even subcontracts out some of her duties to hide her incompetence.

These stories are hilarious and if you haven't heard of Sophie Kinsella, hopefully these brief summaries will get you out to the books stores exploring some.

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The A to Z Challenge - Stream of Consciousness Writing Prompt

Are you involved in the April A to Z Challenge? What is your theme?

I am starting my work on the upcoming A to Z Challenge for bloggers. That means I have to share my theme so that I can begin to compile what I will be publishing in the month of April and I need your help!

The A to Z Challenge is an opportunity for bloggers to push themselves to produce articles for their blogs which further advance their brands for loyal readers, networked partners, and future followers via a theme. It's also a great way to meet other bloggers and share readers.

Okay, so my blog is about making progress, whether it is with my writing, my career as a technologist, or my own personal and spiritual growth. Therefore, my theme will be "The A to Z Stream of Consciousness Writing Prompt." I will take one word as my seed, and without any filters, I will produce anything and everything on my mind in a stream stemming from that root word (unedited) and I will publish those words on my blog each day until all letters of the alphabet have been used.

Send me a word and I will add it to my list. I need one word for every letter of the alphabet, so please don't be shy! Post your word in the comments or send me an email (diane-carlisle at comcast dot net). There are no restrictions for your suggestions either. :)



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3 Reasons Guest Blogging is a Good Idea

by Stephanie Faris


If I write one more article on “5 Marketing Trends to Watch in 2015,” I’m going to lapse into a coma. I’ve written so many, I’ve lost count. But the benefit of all of that work is that I’ve put a great deal of time into studying the best ways to market your small business.

As writers, we’re all small business owners in a sense. We’re working hard to “build our brand” and engage customers (readers). Many of us have read that one of the best ways to do this is through blog tours. Blog tours allow us to appear on other people’s sites, participating in Q & As, posting blurbs and doing guest blogs like this one. But you don’t have to do a blog tour to get the benefits of appearing on someone else’s blog. Here are three ways guest blogging can help you build a reader base.

Reason #1: You Gain New Followers

Bloggers have long expressed frustration that they work hard to write a thoughtful blog post, only to have no one show up to comment. When you appear on someone else’s blog, you get exposure to all of that blog’s readers and you send your own readership over to meet the blog host. I read a large group of blogs each day and I found most of them on other blogs. One great post could connect with your host’s audience and earn you readers for years.

Reason #2: It Increases Search Engine Visibility

Google wants to make sure when you search for something, you get the best results possible. Over the years, the company has worked hard to reward good content and penalize bad, spammy sites. A page is considered a better authority on a subject if there are links pointing to it. When you guest blog, the host posts a link to your blog and you post a link to it—both of those behaviors make Google’s algorithms happy. The more our blogs are connected, the better our chances that when someone types in search terms relevant to what we’re writing, that person will see our blogs on the first page of those results.

Reason #3: It Builds Community

The community in the blogosphere is amazing. The more we cross-post and promote each other, the tighter that community becomes. Many of us participate in events like the A to Z Challenge or the Insecure Writers Support Group, which means often we all have the same blogging friends in common. Guest posts give us the opportunity to introduce our own friends to the bloggers we’ve met, growing the community even further.

Instead of waiting until you have a book to promote, consider contacting fellow bloggers with an offer to guest blog. You can return the favor by hosting those bloggers on your own blog. Not only will it help your Google visibility, but it will also introduce you to new bloggers who are probably eager to find great new blogs to read.

--

And thank you, Stephanie, for stopping by and sharing with us! I am in 100% agreement with all three reasons.

Stephanie Faris knew she wanted to be an author from a very young age. In fact, her mother often told her to stop reading so much and go outside and play with the other kids. After graduating from Middle Tennessee State University with a Bachelor of Science in broadcast journalism, she somehow found herself working in information technology. But she never stopped writing.

Stephanie is the author of 30 Days of No Gossip and 25 Roses, both with Aladdin M!x. When she isn’t crafting fiction, she writes for a variety of online websites on the topics of business, technology, and her favorite subject of all—fashion. She lives in Nashville with her husband, a sales executive. 

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Social Analytics and Your Story

Have you ever wondered what your impact is as a start up author or publisher, especially if you don't have big business behind you? Stephen King and Dean Koontz don't have to ponder such things because someone else is doing that grunt work. This leads to a very popular question among new authors and publishers in today's digital world, because "sales numbers" are not as important as influence. At least, not at first! We're trying to establish a base and haven't even considered sales. How do we gain traction from the beginning?

We are coming into an age where information is freely available and people out there are proving that this data is more important in gaining power and influence than are sales numbers. Information is freely provided because it is acquired at less cost than past methods. As with drug addiction, if you peddle the product for free and if it's good stuff, they'll come back in droves!

You save money and effort while using today's freely acceptable modes of pushing your data. Facebook is free, Twitter is free. You have all these avenues of marketing potential. But, what do you sacrifice by navigating in the dark with no direction? Your time! And, with little feedback.

What's missing? Analysis and decision making are lacking. All this data means nothing when the other guy is using theirs to make decisions which beat you out in the market place. They know what the data means and they know how to produce more content via reviews and conversational feedback, which in turn allows them to target in a way to maximize on the knowledge they gained by analyzing the mined data they have accumulated. Say what?

Simple terms. What do they have that you don't? Direction and a budget, sustained by years of branding and accumulating that base you're trying to establish.

Here are the questions you need to ask yourself when promoting your product.

Brand: What is your message?

Stephen King: I can produce horrific stories that will make you lose sleep at night.

Mission: What goals have you established which will live up to your brand?

Stephen King: I will write 3 novels that will creep you out!

Scope: How will you reach your goals without diluting your brand?

Stephen King: I will write from my heart and not listen to all these folks who give feedback saying that I should do something other than write 3 novels that will creep you out.

Feedback: What feedback will you utilize to reinforce dedication to your brand?

Stephen King: I will not wait for feedback in the form of fan mail and gratuitous visits to my estate. I will go out into bookstores and institutions who invite me to speak and I will listen to my consumers, the readers of my books. If they're not happy, it's time to change my brand or the execution of my message.

What is your message to your audience?


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A Funny New Author for Me

We have a local Goodwill bookstore not far from where I live and we made a detour there rather than drive 15 miles to Barnes & Noble. Why would I do that if I'm to support my fellow writers? I should be purchasing new books, not used ones which don't count as copies sold, right?

Well, I've decided I'm going to switch up my reading library. I'm giving up on the horror/suspense/thriller genres for now. Sorry, Stephen! This is big for me. It's a change I'd never thought would happen. I absolutely love King and Koontz and would never dream of searching for a "new" author. It's not like I'm looking to replace them altogether. As soon as one of them puts out another "gotta have it" novel, I'll be right back in there.

I wasn't in the bookstore for long before I found an interesting book cover. Some author by the name of Marian Keyes had produced a lovely pink ensemble, "Rachel's Holiday". The cover depicts a tall and thin cartoon figure of a whimsical girl celebrating with a bottle of wine. This looked fun and the following blurb had me sold:

"Hilarious...A coming-of-age journey of love and self-discovery...propelled by its unforgettable heroine." --Boston Globe

I'm only into chapter 3 and I'm hooked. Though the main character is apparently a substance abuser, the first person POV is very convincing and hilarious. I'd never experienced this sort of read before, but I think I've found a new kind of author, and I'm going to enjoy this tremendously.

If you've found yourself reading the same books over and over again, maybe it's time to take a chance on discovering a new author. Going the used bookstore route will help get you excited about it without taking a chunk out of your wallet. My book cost me $2.99 for the paperback (no shipping and handling) and now, I'll probably go online and purchase all of her other books!

Get excited about reading again. Go to your local Goodwill bookstore or book exchange outlet. Put some fun back into your reading. Take a risk on a new author or genre. I'm super excited!




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Battling Constructive Criticism - Ferret Style

Scholarly ferret has answers.

There are many things we'll hear from critique partners during our writing journeys. I've heard them about my stories and you'll hear them about yours, if you haven't already. These words are hurtful when you first hear them. After all, writing fiction is an art form and the creative soul cannot be judged, for art has value only to the artist. But if you want to sell your art, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny, right?

I encountered such criticisms in one of my first creative writing classes and I can tell you my reaction wasn't pretty. I'd spent almost $400.00 to take this class and I had better not hear anything but how great my writing is and how wonderful my story.

That didn't happen, unfortunately. I heard many things, and I'm about to share them with you. Trust me, I was steaming mad. The vulgar gestures I produced after having read the "constructive criticisms" of my classmates, went largely unnoticed, mainly because it was an online class and my computer shielded me from the rest of the group.


Q: Whose story is this?

A: What the hell are you talking about? It's my story, bitch!

Just kidding. When I was first asked this question, I wasn't sure what folks were talking about. I've introduced three characters already, so obviously it's about "at least" three characters, right?  ...right?

Confused ferret asks question.

It's their way of saying that they believe a story should have one main character and that character should have a story all about them and their journey. Fine and dandy! I get it. For new writers, maybe it's smart to stick to this "template" but seriously, there's more than one way to write a story folks.


Q: What is the main goal of your character?

A: Shouldn't you read more than the first chapter before you ask that question?

This is no joke. Why do you have to know the goal of my character when you start reading the story? Do you want to know the goal in the first chapter so you can then decide whether or not to buy the book? Is more than 15 minutes of reading in Barnes & Noble too much time to waste deciding whether or not the goal of my character is important enough to fork out $5.99? Read the back cover!

Angry ferret's favorite acronym RTFM

Okay, so the goal of my character is to travel to China, unlock the mystery behind the ancient Chinese secret, and rescue the world. Tada! End of story in only one chapter. Chapter Two: Does the Character Meet Her Goal?


Q: Do you expect us to believe your character actually drove off that cliff and survived?

A: It's fiction! 

The answer to this question is obvious. No, I don't expect you to believe it because it didn't happen for real. It happened in my story, and my story is fiction. If you do the same things my characters do and think you'll get away with it, then you deserve to die! Much like the Mountain Man.

Ferret wants you to chill.

Q: Couldn't you change it to read more like "blah blah blah blah blah, "blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?"

A: No, because then it would be YOUR story, not mine.

Writers are so funny when we critique other work. We all do it, but let's be honest. When we like something, we always want a crack at it to see if our version will sound better, look better, smell better, or taste better. Just like chefs, there's always a twist to make it better. Just remember, it's my food you are sampling. If you like it, get the basic recipe. You can always add your twist to it in your own kitchen, when you make your version.

Ninja ferret is not happy!

Q: Why is there so much head-hopping going on here?

A: What the hell is head-hopping?

I seriously did not understand this whole concept of head-hopping. It made me angry for so many people to tell me I was doing this when I didn't even know what it meant. In the voice of a whiny, little brat, "How does Jane know that John is feeling sad? She's not privy to his thoughts."

Can you guess ferret thoughts?

Um, I'm the author writing the story. Jane doesn't need to know that John is sad. I'm telling you he's sad! I know he's sad and because I know he's sad, Jane knows he's sad, and now so do you! Now shut up and read the rest of my story.


Do you recall any criticisms which made you feel immediately defensive about your writing? Please share!



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Making No Progress, Suggestions are Welcome!!

Okay, I apologize. I submitted this photo while in Tampa this afternoon. I thought it expressed exactly how I felt at the moment. I experienced this urge to write something and all I had available as a conduit to the blog-o-sphere was my iPhone and iPad.

I snapped this photo from my Bitstrips app over a week ago. But, today is when I realized my block, so I posted the photo from my iPhone and then ventured back to address you folks with one question.

What do you do to overcome severe writer's block?

I need your help!! :(

Top 10 Character Flaws That Don't Work For Me

I read once (or maybe more than once, but who's counting?) that characters are more likable when they are flawed, and to some extent, I believe this to be true. I have my favorite characters who are all flawed in many ways, but there are those characters who are beginning to pick at that last nerve. They're so cliched and I wonder why they are chosen over and over again as the favored protagonist or one of the main characters. I don't like them any more because I see them everywhere!


The Millionaire Philanderer

I don't understand this. Why is it that the guys who have money must be portrayed as weak when it comes to women in pursuit? Stop letting these women drape on you like a cheap suit! Sling them to the side and show some self-respect. This is similarly done with the rock stars toting around their posse and loyal groupie bangers. And why are they always extremely handsome? Ever see Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner? For real...

The Deep Dark Secret Sufferer

A great way to expose a flaw for a character who has a secret is for them to perform some odd behaviors like visit a secret grave on the 3rd of each month, or something equally odd. Stop giving them permission to be emotionally erratic toward others with no explanation whatsoever only to have character A tell character B, "Oh, his mother died in a freak accident back in 2010 and he's never really recovered from it. A year later his sister was ate up by some flesh-eating bacteria she got at summer camp."

Of course, this sort of thing might work in a comedic rendition of some reality shows I watch for pure entertainment.


The Damsel In Distress

I'm tired of distress getting rewarded just because it is the more attractive option to the male ego. What about the woman who refuses to be rescued and this causes a man to leave her side and ultimately results in his saving a bus load of children?

Yea, women understand sacrifice, too. We know other shit is going on out there other than ourselves. Some of us can save ourselves. We can also help save others as well. Go save yourself a puppy or something! Readers will LOVE you. I promise.

The Chip on the Shoulder

This dude needs to get out of his own way. Nobody likes this anymore! The bad guys are losing steam because there are too many of them. You know, the opposite of this flaw is the shy guy. I  love me a shy guy, too. Please let's do away with the wise-cracking assholes and invite the John Nash's into our stories, because you can't have enough of A Beautiful Mind.


The Jealous Woman

Jealousy has always been an ugly thing to me, especially in a woman. If you're going to make your character a jealous one, at least give them some redeeming quality like having them internalize it rather than going all out ninja on a bitch. I guess what I'm saying is that jealousy can make a character vulnerable, therefore likable, just don't let it shine in all its ugliness by having your character act upon her jealousies, because then it becomes completely unlikable.

A "like" plus an "unlike" kind of cancel each other out, so what's the point? Unless you're building a villain, in which case all out ninja would be just fine.

The Pained Drunkard/Addict

Sometimes this is done well and I feel bad for the character. Most times I think the character deserves what's coming to them. I'm unsympathetic to these characters. Yes, even though I drink beer and one might consider me an alcoholic for doing so, I still abhor such characters who cannot rise above their addictions.

I want to sympathize, but at the same time it's hard not to want to punch this character in the face and shout. Come on already! You have to get up and be at the courthouse first thing in the morning, you oaf. Put the vodka away for Christ's sake!


The "I  Lost My Entire Family" Victim

I know what it's like to lose a loved one. I lost my father in 1992, my mother in 2006, and my grandmother in 2009. Trust me, putting them all together at the same time doesn't make the pain worse; it makes you more an asshole trying to get a bigger reaction from your reader. How can it be even more painful? Kill the grandmother too!

Trust me tragedy is fine if you do it right. But, if done wrong, the author comes across as trying to make double and triple sure that the reader sympathizes with their character. The character is devastated. He didn't just lose his beloved wife. He lost his daughter, their two dogs, the cat, and their pet goldfish. How could you not feel horrible for this guy? STOP it!


The Washed Up Hero

This always happens in sequels or starts out the very first scene with the hero, washed up and ready to commit suicide. Don't worry! You'll soon find out why he was so miserable. Hello Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon. Loved the movie. Suicidal would be lost in translation in the written form, IMHO.

The visual is a different story though. The tears, red eyes, shaking hand with gun self-directed at his head. Don't do it! Aw, everything will be okay. Whatever it is bothering you, it will work out. It's the beginning of the movie and we have another hour and a half for things to get better. Plus, you're the star of this movie, so you can't die just yet. There, there, put the gun down.

The Arrogant Entrepreneur/Estate Owner

I just read a post today and found out that there is a romance novel "genre" (?) which caters to this situation. I believe it's called Regency Harlequins. I'll research it more and make an addendum here when I have the chance. But honestly, I don't see the draw to such a thing. There's nothing particularly romantic about having to deal with an estate. Been there, done it. It's a huge pain in the ass.


The Stubborn Rebel

The romance novels I've read years ago were not the same as they are today. The men in those books were men. Pure men. They were arrogant, not stubborn. They were righteous, not rebellious. They were businessmen, doctors, professors, and pilots. The romance was written for a different culture back then.

But, I've tried to read romances these days and I can't. It's too painful. The men are like boys. Stubborn, like when a mother tries to get her son to eat his veggies. Yeah, that kind of rebelliousness is not romantic to me. I want a man in this story, not a two year old. Dammit, I'm dating myself.

Are there character flaws that just don't work for you? Did I point out a character flaw here that you actually like and felt that I didn't do it the justice it deserves? Well, come yell at me about it! Or just leave a polite comment. :)






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My Faux Pas While Conducting Research

I'm having an opportunity to review a thriller for a literary magazine and I so want to do a great job, an honest write up. So, what does an avid reader and fan of literary fiction do? We research anything that seems out of place. I think that's what we do.

It's my first official write up, so I wasn't quite sure what to do when I ran across a paragraph that simply did not ring true to me. I just couldn't believe that there would be 50,000 graves in a particular cemetery. Hell, Arlington National Cemetery has 300,000 (yes, I discovered this in my research) and they are the largest cemetery in the United States. Any other cemetery should pale in comparison, right?


So, what did you do, Diane?

I found the cemetery in question on the Internet and I called them!

"This is Lynn speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hi, Lynn. I'm conducting some research and would like to know how many marked graves you all have in your cemetery."

*silence*

*uncomfortable pause*

"I will find someone who can help you with that. One moment please."

Great customer service skills, by the way.

"Hello, Brett here. How can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm researching some information and would like to know how many graves you all have in your cemetery."

"Well ma'am, we have approximately 38,000 folks who have been laid to rest here and within various structures throughout our grounds and facility."

Now the silence was a massive white noise in my frontal lobe, slowly replaced with the knowledge of my faux pas. In my haste to uncover what I felt to be a greatly exaggerated metric, yet a highly insignificant piece of data conveyed in a work of fiction, I'd let my better judgement go and I had approached my target as if I were some insensitive ass. This isn't me, I promise.

So, what did it matter this number? Why did that red flag go up and why did I feel a compulsion to find out if it was true? If you say it was my OCD, that's partially it. It wasn't until I pondered my inner soul that I figured out what actually triggered that need to pull out of the story and go looking for answers.

Truth be told, I would never have questioned this had it not been a well-rounded, convenient number. If it was 46,000, fine! Even 51,000 would not have phased me a bit. I would have continued on with the story without even a single bump. Now I understand auditors a little more.

So there you have it. Stay away from well-rounded numbers, even if you've done your research. It will save your readers some embarrassment, maybe. Not every reader would think to call a cemetery and ask such a thing. Or would they?

Last thing I would like to do is publicly apologize for 1. Questioning the author's integrity (after all, it is fiction) and 2. Being such an insensitive ass toward all the 38,000 folks laid to rest in that cemetery. In closing, I think I've learned a little something about social etiquette.

Question of the day: What was the oddest research you ever conducted and what was the response?



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Google Store Addition - My New App

My first app!

So I haven't posted anything in over a week. Blasphemous, I know! I've been busy at work and so much is going on these days I feel like I can't accomplish anything. Changes at work and a little side action (if you know what I mean). That means I'm learning new stuff! Get your minds out of the gutter.

Much of my evenings has been dedicated to learning how to use the tools needed to build mobile apps. I started out making changes for an organization and once I updated theirs successfully, the bug hit me. I needed an app to compile all my art and social outlets together. What writer wouldn't want something like that, huh? Their own portfolio portal! Was that redundant?

Every evening at exactly 7:00, I would shimmy up to my iMac and plug away at my design. It's not the bestest and greatest I'm sure, but it's MINE. Kind of like the draft manuscript that you just finished. You know the feeling, you just have to publish it right away, it's just that awesome. Shameless to say, I did just that.

So, only my blog readers know about this link and I only have an Android version published. I have an iPhone distribution ready, but haven't had a successful upload into the Apple Store just yet. Coming soon.

A peek at my fashion web template

Be kind. Please use the app and give me feedback. Even if you only download it to test it out and never use it again. I'm sure to improve. If it totally sucks, I need to know this too! Just as if in a writing critique group, let me have it. I will update and make it better, I promise.

Notables, as in Diane Carlisle notable projects. I take checks. No seriously, it's FREE! But if you want a website, I have to charge for that. I'm completely affordable. The app has a "get a quote" form.

P.S. I'm willing to hire a graphics artist to redo my header on the app. Any takers? I know it sucks. Use my app contact form and shoot me an estimate.



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5 Motives For Animals in Fiction

I asked Tim to recall all the fictional novels he's read (or movies watched) where animals played a part. I did this because I was curious to know what other readers would come up with, not just me. He named the novels (movies) and I noticed there were, to me, different motivations for animals appearing as characters, even the walk-ons. These are the ones I found.


Please Like My Protagonist

At most conferences I've attended and online writing classes I've taken, the speakers have discussed this thing referred to as "pet the dog" which simply means get the reader to instantly like your protagonist. Whenever any character shows affection toward an animal, it will create this connection with your reader. How about an Orangutan? Remember Clyde in Every Which Way But Loose and its sequel? Best sidekick EVER!

Here's a quick example. When a cop picks up that cute puppy in an alley while searching for some bad guy, notice he gives it a quick snuggle before tucking it safely behind some dumpster? Now, back to the bad guy and doing the much needed deed, moving the plot along. It's not realistic, but it works. The cop has a soft spot, even while in the middle of a very dangerous chase. This cute scenario doesn't really belong in the story, but it serves one of two purposes for supplying elements which seem out of place. It adds to character development. The other would be to further the plot, which it does not.


Creating Conflicting Emotions

Two elements I love to experience at the same time are feeling my love for humanity and feeling love for a helpless NON-human type. How does one promote love for humanity? Um, you have an horrific animal which causes incomprehensible damage to society. Think King Kong, Godzilla, Food of the Gods, and Jaws. It's man against this indestructible creature wreaking havoc upon their villages.

And don't give these creatures any qualities that make them human, like King Kong actually falling in love with the girl. NOooooooo!!!! Now we have to like the creature, and that defeats the purpose of bringing society together to kill it. Talk about conflicting emotions for your readers.

In Jaws, the mother was protecting her 15 foot baby the fishermen killed! Those bastards. Of course, any mother would go after them murderers, and with great vengeance. How do you hate such a creature?


Creating Horror and Anticipation

One of the things in fiction that has a remarkable affect on readers, and I say this from my own experience as an avid reader of horror, is the mention of acts performed by domestic animals, acts we cannot deny but we cringe knowing of them. Like the cannibalism of hamsters when one of their own becomes ill. No, our pets are not cannibals!

Authors remind us of the horrors we wish to deny. They torture us with these tidbits of information, reminding our kindred of the evil which exists in our innocent world, the one we so desperately seek to escape. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

A stray dog wouldn't eat the scalp off a dead man. But, what if he'd been abandoned and was hungry, like the one in Stephen King's Gerald's Game? I think King described it like the sound of pulling up carpet? I don't care how hungry my Maggie ever gets, she'd never eat my scalp!

Promoting Religious Views

So, what does it say to you, the reader, when you read about the family pet who died? Pet Sematary is an example. Karma? Did you get a sense that the author had a particular religion they were depicting or did it just seem creepy to you? Coming back to life: evil times 3! I'm not suggesting this was the intent, but when I read the book, I felt a lot of ceremony in it.


Political Dissidence

Animal Farm is a great example of this, but that's literary stuff, so who cares? :)  Read it!

I use animals in my short story Snow Leopard. The cats in my story are major characters and they play a very prominent role in how I feel about political dissidence in America today. They are tools and my intent has always been the hope that my readers will relate on a deeper level at some point.


Okay, I admit, I'm being overly harsh on the writers out there, but I want to know. Do you think about why you include animals in your scenarios? Do you ever wonder why you find the need to include them? I think it's okay to do it, I just wonder if you know why you do it and do these specific reasons I point out hit the mark?



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The Immersion Excursion

Have you ever picked up a book and read it from front to back in one sitting? Those are the books you discover by surprise.

Maybe you've experienced a story written by an author you'd never heard of, or one who created a one hit wonder and never wrote another word. How sad. I've read a few myself and now I ponder what glued me to my seat long enough to read an entire story without a break, not even for a bite to eat.


Dialogue

One common element shared by the quick reads I've discovered are the dialogue sequences. They're not thrown together simply to provide white space, making the pages less daunting. I recall meaningful dialogue, the kind which delivers progress in character development and plot.

And remember, the importance of dialogue is as much about what is said as it is about what is not said.


Setting

The setting is another element which completely immerses me into a story. It must be vividly clear to me where I am while experiencing the story. Recall Middle-earth in Lord of the Rings, Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series, and the land of Oz in The Wizard of Oz. All unique worlds, very distinct and memorable.

Don't be afraid to share your world. It makes the difference in the reader feeling welcome. When a visitor comes to your house, do you give them a tour or do you confine them to one room?


The 8 senses

When I was in high school, there were only 5 senses we were taught in health education and those were: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Today, we include the senses of time, space, and the unknown. I give examples of each in a post I shared back in 2011.

When you use this technique, I am so focused and entertained, I have no interest in being tantalized in the real world with seeing, tasting, smelling, or anything else. It's like magic to me because the words show me what I already know, therefore, I'm relating on a whole different level, entranced!

Detail in Descriptions

When I read something familiarly exquisite, I stick around. That means I feel comforted when I encounter the details of an item in a story such as a Sesame Seed Biscotti or French Vanilla flavored coffee. Don't be lazy. Share the details. 

The added details give me a sense that I belong where I am; therefore, I have no interest in moving away from the story. I'll keep going because the comfort level is more enticing than putting down the book to go and find something general and bland which I hadn't thought of just yet. 

I further share Dialogue, Detail, and Description in an earlier post.

Voice

This is an element I don't read about often, but I know what it is and what it does for me. Voice is something that is important when you read a lot of books. It will save time for the reader when they finally discover the one voice which speaks to them like Vincent Price reading "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe. The way he dramatizes the reciting of the poem could be likened to an author's use of words and choice of cadence in the structure of their sentences.

It's difficult to immerse myself to this length these days because I work full time. But, I remember the days of middle school summer when I blazed through tons of Harlequin romances and wondered where the time had gone. I miss those days. I could immerse myself into another world, and these were the very elements which invited me to stay.

So, what keeps you on the page and turning until the very end?

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When a Writer Questions an Artist

What happens when a writer questions the written words of a truly talented artist? Something completely unexpected and rather embarrassing is the answer.

One thing I would never do is question a literary icon about intent when it comes to his creations. If you don't understand allegories or metaphors, you have no business correcting someone about their artistic work on a technical level. My new hero is Don Henley (Eagles), for his answer to John Soeder in 2009 while being interviewed for The Plain Dealer. This man dared to correct an artist's choice of words.

The interview question?

On "Hotel California," you sing: "So I called up the captain / 'Please bring me my wine' / He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.'" I realize I'm probably not the first to bring this to your attention, but wine isn't a spirit. Wine is fermented; spirits are distilled. Do you regret that lyric?

Assuming by "spirit" Henley must be referencing the wine in his written words, Soeder belittles the artist with his obnoxious question about regrets.

I love Henley's response:

Thanks for the tutorial and, no, you're not the first to bring this to my attention—and you're not the first to completely misinterpret the lyric and miss the metaphor. Believe me, I've consumed enough alcoholic beverages in my time to know how they are made and what the proper nomenclature is. But that line in the song has little or nothing to do with alcoholic beverages. It's a sociopolitical statement. My only regret would be having to explain it in detail to you, which would defeat the purpose of using literary devices in songwriting and lower the discussion to some silly and irrelevant argument about chemical processes.[1]

SuuuuLAM!!

This must have been a memorable moment for Mr. Soeder as he mentioned it while announcing his retirement back in 2012.

Don Henley and I locked horns, too, because I had the nerve to ask him about the wine-spirit confusion in the Eagles hit "Hotel California"; you can read all about it on Wikipedia.[2]

I'm making a correction here. You didn't "lock horns" with Henley, Mr. Soeder. What happened was something of the nature "he ate your lunch."

Let this be a lesson to the critics out there. Don't always assume your corrections mean anything to the Poet/Songwriter/Artist. We all love music, but if you want music to love you back, treat it with the respect it deserves.

1. Soeder, John. "Don Henley gets into the spirit talking about 'Hotel California'" The Plain Dealer March 20, 2009: T14

2. http://www.cleveland.com/pdq/index.ssf/2012/09/pop_music_critic_john_soeder_s.html



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Righting the Write Words - Part 1

I've been running into plenty of these situations lately where writers are ignoring the rules of grammar or just not proofing their work as diligently as they should. I've made these same mistakes, so don't go all whiny on me about my being some sort of snot for posting this. Grammar is very important to me, and as a reader, if we're going to have an intimate relationship, please learn to keep it clean.

It's okay with our drafts, because our spellcheckers don't always alert on these commonly mistaken words. This is more a simple reminder for myself. The more I preach it, the more likely I am to pay attention when selecting my words. I'll start with the obvious, and I'm providing some more words toward the end of this post, those I had to look up to remind myself of the meanings.

So here they are!


Contractions examples:

Who's is the contraction of who and is and shouldn't be confused with the other.

Whose is the same as asking who will take ownership of something.

"So, whose idea was it to put the goldfish in the toilet?"

It's is the contraction of it and is and shouldn't be confused with the other.

Its is actually the possessive pronoun like his and hers and indicates belonging.

"When were you going to tell me about the new dog and its seven puppies I found in the garage?"

There, their, and they're examples:

1. I ran like hell and I left my keys over there.
2. The looks on their faces tell me I shouldn't go back.
3. They're bound to come after me at some point.

To, two, and too examples:

1. I'm heading to the store.
2. I'm buying two loaves of bread.
3. Would you like to come, too?

And more confusing words


Whether - used to introduce an alternative.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry."

Weather - it's what two boring people talk about when they have nothing interesting to say.

"Yep, looks like rain. Been some nasty weather around lately."

Affect - is a verb meaning to have an influence on.

"Her stupidity is affecting my ability to do my job."

Effect - is a noun meaning a cause of change brought about by an agent.

"He had a major effect on the outcome of that game."

Loose - is an adjective meaning not fastened, contained or restrained.

"Your dress is too loose. Maybe try a smaller size?"

Lose - is a verb and has many meanings such as not to win, to mislay, etc.

"Check mate, you lose."

Accept - is a verb and has many meanings among which are to receive something.

"I accept your apology."

Except - is a preposition meaning 'with the exclusion of'.

"You can have all the Eagles albums except their greatest hits."

Elicit - is a verb meaning to bring or draw out/gather information.

"Don't try to elicit a confession from me. I told you already, I didn't do it."

Illicit - is an adjective meaning not sanctioned by custom or law.

"She performed illicit sexual acts on the stage."

Passed - this is the past tense of the verb to pass.

"He passed me the ball and I ran it in for the touch down."

Past - the time before the present, no longer current.

"In the past, we would just draw straws and the person with the short straw was shit out of luck."

Complement - to complete, make whole, or bring to perfection.

"That blue color complements your eyes."

Compliment - an expression of praise, admiration, or congratulation.

"She's always fishing for compliments."

Dependent - relying on or requiring the aid of another.

"My schedule next week is dependent upon my mother's arrival."

Dependant - one who relies on another, especially for financial support.

"As my dependant, my daughter will remain enrolled in my health care program until she finishes college."

And, to avoid any confusion in the future, remember this:

A councillor is a member of a council (noun), which is a deliberate body of people.

A counsellor is a person who counsels (verb) others.


Are there other words you find yourself looking up to ensure you're using the write one? Affect and effect are my problem ones. I look them up every time I want to use one or the other, because I never remember which is witch.

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The Willing Suspension of Disbelief

In 1817, Samuel Taylor Coleridge coined the term the willing suspension of disbelief. Coleridge was a poet and philosopher who suggested that if a writer could weave in a semblance of truth in a fantastical tale, then the reader will suspend judgement concerning the plausibility of the narrative. This is true in a sense, but back then we didn't have the popular phenomena that is reality television. Who writes that stuff?

Today, the burden is placed on the reader or the audience and their willingness to push aside the notion that the narrative is preposterous, relieving the writer of any artistic or creative responsibility for providing the introspection necessary to make it seamless to the reader. Instead, they just write the story and you either like it or you don't. Forget researching crime scene triangulation, we have this fantastic device whereby its presence alone will determine from whence the trigger was pulled.

What about that show of surviving in the wilderness, Mountain Men? Oh the dangers that lurk. Oh my! In the solemn voice of  D. B. Sweeney, the narrator of Mountain Men:

The mountain man has become lost, and he is without any gear, food, or water. How could he have made such a costly mistake? This could be his last evening alive out in this ruthless, arctic air. 

Oh, but don't worry, I'm sure the camera man filming this scene will videotape mountain man's entire demise.

"Cut! That's a wrap. We'll film the trapping of food scene after lunch."

How can I possibly take this writing seriously given the medium of television? I might be willing to suspend disbelief if I read it as a fictional novel, but the effectiveness is lost in translation when it comes to reality television. You see, they have to mix in the drama or nobody would watch it.

How far are you willing to go before you're no longer entertained and wish to call bullshit? When does the fantastic leave you feeling duped?


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Gage Thomas on Diane Carlisle, His Creator

This month's prompt at Absolute Write:
Characters Writing About Authors

Have your character write about you, the author, their creator. You may choose any character so long as you created them, and may write in any format.

Gage Thomas

My name is Gage and I live at C:\Documents and Settings\dcarlisl\My Documents\Dropbox\Writing\Novels\Summer In Buddyville\

That's where She put me and has kept me for the past year and a half. She being Diane, my creator. I used to live in a town called Buddyville before she decided to shelve me in my current location. So why did she shelve me? I wish I could say something mean like maybe she's a selfish bitch, cold and uncaring about my situation.

I'm a nineteen year old kid, left behind to care for my younger sister after mother died of cancer a year ago. It's not a big deal to care for my sister. She's fourteen and practically takes care of herself. Only, I need to get a better job so I can get us out of this run-down trailer park before it's condemned by the city.

Last summer, many of the empty units were taken over by the homeless people. The city folk call them squatters. I think mainly because at night they gather at the opening of the trailer park where the dumpsters sit, start their fire pits, and squat to cook whatever communal road kill they'd managed to gather. You'd be surprised how good that shit smells.

But, I think Diane got bored writing my story. Either that or it became too depressing to continue on with such a run-down setting. Plus, she's not a pantser by any means and she didn't know where to take us after having described our pathetic surroundings. She just gave up on me.

I heard she started a new story, something about a cop unraveling a cold case at a new precinct. Diane purchased a butt load of writing software she claims will help her plot out a story she can finally write. She's kidding herself though. Her problems:

1. She's a procrastinator
2. She cares more about her blog than her manuscripts
3. When she has down time, she volunteers to do other things
4. She claims she wants to write fiction
5. What she really wants is to have written

One day, maybe she'll realize it's time to get serious about finishing a manuscript, whichever story she decides to write. I'm just hoping it's mine.

Take care,
Gage


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Write What You Know

If the following video is the reality of today, no wonder we turn toward fiction in order to escape it. I bet when the guy left the courtroom, he still had no idea why they lost. Sad. Really sad. He's my character of the day. Watch the video, and then my post is after.

The advice I've heard over and over again through the years is that we should write what we know. I think for the most part, this is true for non-fiction. I'm not going to write a book about how to fix cars if I don't know how to fix cars. I know how to use HTML, CSS, and Java to develop applications and websites. But, I don't want to write about application development. I don't want to write to teach, I want to write to entertain. Make sense?

I want to write fiction! I want to write about things I don't know. I've never murdered anyone, but I can imagine how I'd feel if I were fixing to get caught after having done so. How would I feel if I'd woken one morning and realized I'd hit someone with my car while in a drunken stupor? Would I turn myself in?

Probably, but not until I'd spent a great deal of time trying to rid myself of the guilt, telling myself nobody would ever find out. I know exactly how conflicted I'd be, and you'd be lying to yourself if you say you'd feel any differently. It's called the human psyche, and you have it if you're not a sociopath.

Of course, you'd never drive drunk! That would be illegal. But that doesn't mean your character shouldn't. Let them run someone over. If you've done your job to make your character likable, your reader will instantly feel what any human being would feel.

The guilt. The fear. The dreadful thought of spending a good part of life in prison, away from children and family. Because I'm human, it is a given that I can reason and appeal to other humans in this way, and therefore, I am writing what I know.

But Diane, how do the kids in the video relate to this post?

They don't. They are just a reminder to us all that Dumb and Dumber things don't just happen in fiction. Besides, I thought it might entertain you. Until next time...

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