Real Ultimate Power - Ninja Style

I have decided to share the REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book. Have you been feeling shut out, left behind, even made to feel like you have no skills because you are not super haXor material? Well, this book is for you! I'm not lying.

I've gone up against these folks myself. They are out there, everywhere! You can't hide. Well you can. Sort of, but not forever. The other side will eventually find you lurking.

Please get it, read it, live it. Be your own ninja, and don't ever let anyone tell you any different. It is in the code, folks. The code. It is only shared by those who have already mastered the skills and are not just posing.

If you read the book and still don't understand, use my contact form and send me your questions. Ninja power, folks! Ninja power. Get the book, learn some skills. And remember to always be happy and play nice.

;)


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Ferret Flash Fiction - A Furry Tale

A Furry Tale, get it? Hahahaha!!

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Shogun. He was the master of all ferret sages. Shogun carried with him the wisdom of several weeks training, learning the rollover skill. He carried himself with great pride and dignity, and whenever put to task, he accepted the challenge with great poise and inner pleasure a mere human could never fathom.

I accept your challenge, you
weak human!

No challenge ever phased Shogun, and so the master human placed before the mighty Shogun a new task. Extract the pink astral sphere from the domain of The Ninja Spirit.

The hell?! Did you say
The Ninja Spirit?

Before the master of all ferrets approached the domain of The Ninja Spirit, the flying weasel sprung from her abode and pounced on the mighty sage, leaving him stunned. The Shogun, dazed and confused, leaped from the ground and gained his composure.

That's me, bitch! Let's do this...

The Ninja Spirit was half the size of Shogun, and so they each fought their battles in their own unique style. Shogun with brute force, The Ninja Spirit, light and quick. They both fought valiantly and neither waned in their determination to win. The Ninja Spirit, defending that which was rightly hers...Shogun, driven by ambition and pride while seeking the glory in the acquisition of the pink astral sphere.

It's ON now!

When the battle was over, The Ninja Spirit paused with caution, taking in shallow breaths. Still shocked at her loss, she watched on as the ferret sage extracted the pink astral sphere from her branded domain. Without her sphere, she would have to find another place to practice her skills and build on her talents.

Mine! All MINE!!

With yet another challenge mastered, Shogun's desire to return with the sphere to share his success with the master human diminished. It no longer felt like success to simply take what belonged to another. He didn't get any real satisfaction after the acquisition. In fact, he bored quickly by the knowledge he did not actually use any of his skills to achieve this goal.

I will use the transform spell
and create!!

The Shogun, via the creative mind of the writer, mastered the transform spell in only five minutes. He felt better about learning new things, but he knew it would take lots of practice to master this newly acquired skill. But, he was impatient as all hell!

"Transform into a whole bag of
chicken flavored treats!"

Being the newbie that he was at transforming, Shogun made a very shameful mistake. The first incantation of the transform spell usually backfires when seeking objects inspired by one's own greed. Instead of a bag of chicken flavored treats he'd attempted to produce, Shogun had managed to transform the pink astral sphere into a new abode for The Ninja Spirit. A very nice one, too!

The Ninja Spirit learned the transform spell
many years ago, sucker! But thanks.

THE END

The moral of this story? You can take away my spirit, but you can't replace my knowledge. Please read more ferret fun on my blog. If you enjoy my ferrets, Shogun and Ninja, as much as I enjoy sharing, leave a comment and let me know to produce more! They ask that you please like them on Facebook. :)

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Text Enhanced Hijacking Ploy

If you are visiting websites and you see double-underlined links scattered throughout which are different than the style of "real" links on the site, your web browser is likely contaminated by the ole browser hijacking critter.

The text enhanced linking is caused by a technique which infects your browser to create links on keyword search items which link to another site. It's an advertising ploy which is very annoying. You can stop this from happening. If you are a Chrome user, I can vouch for this process. It works!

Go to the Chrome Web Store and download the Ad Block Extension and install it. Annoyance exterminated!

The organizations who use this to get click backs to their site are very annoying. If they had legitimate content of their own, they shouldn't have to maliciously drive traffic from other sites. They should do it like the rest of the world and create rich, valuable content!!

I didn't realize it was my PC for a good while. When I noticed it happening more and more on all of your blogs, I thought it was an epidemic, but then when I visited from my work PC, everything seemed fine.

Have you run into this on your own PC?




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A Funny New Author for Me

We have a local Goodwill bookstore not far from where I live and we made a detour there rather than drive 15 miles to Barnes & Noble. Why would I do that if I'm to support my fellow writers? I should be purchasing new books, not used ones which don't count as copies sold, right?

Well, I've decided I'm going to switch up my reading library. I'm giving up on the horror/suspense/thriller genres for now. Sorry, Stephen! This is big for me. It's a change I'd never thought would happen. I absolutely love King and Koontz and would never dream of searching for a "new" author. It's not like I'm looking to replace them altogether. As soon as one of them puts out another "gotta have it" novel, I'll be right back in there.

I wasn't in the bookstore for long before I found an interesting book cover. Some author by the name of Marian Keyes had produced a lovely pink ensemble, "Rachel's Holiday". The cover depicts a tall and thin cartoon figure of a whimsical girl celebrating with a bottle of wine. This looked fun and the following blurb had me sold:

"Hilarious...A coming-of-age journey of love and self-discovery...propelled by its unforgettable heroine." --Boston Globe

I'm only into chapter 3 and I'm hooked. Though the main character is apparently a substance abuser, the first person POV is very convincing and hilarious. I'd never experienced this sort of read before, but I think I've found a new kind of author, and I'm going to enjoy this tremendously.

If you've found yourself reading the same books over and over again, maybe it's time to take a chance on discovering a new author. Going the used bookstore route will help get you excited about it without taking a chunk out of your wallet. My book cost me $2.99 for the paperback (no shipping and handling) and now, I'll probably go online and purchase all of her other books!

Get excited about reading again. Go to your local Goodwill bookstore or book exchange outlet. Put some fun back into your reading. Take a risk on a new author or genre. I'm super excited!




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The Great Escape - Two If By Stove

Nobody works harder than my ferrets when trying to make an escape from the kitchen. Being that today is Labor Day, I'm devoting some time and space on my blog to salute two very rambunctious and determined babies, Ninja and Shogun, the newest additions to my family.

You might ask yourself how this can help you with your writing, or with any other aspect of your life. Watch the video and tell me if it doesn't inspire you to keep at it, no matter where you find yourself in life, career, or maybe even in a bad relationship that you're trying to turn around for the better. If these two critters can fight this hard, so can you. Happy Labor Day!

And by the way, shortly after this video was shot, Shogun, the lighter colored one, made his escape and I found him creeping around the corner in the hallway. Determination pays off I'd say.

We'll just get out when you're not home.

Always looking for some sort of weakness in the configuration of the new prison,...err, cage, Shogun is determined to find a way to escape from this Alcatraz of all ferret cages. Nothing but the best for my babies. Here is a photo of Shogun before he got himself stuck trying to escape when I reached in to replace a blanket.

Just before he tried his first
cage escape.

Shogun is happy to have his very own hammock. Prison life isn't so bad. He seems to be okay with hot pink.

Don't have a problem with pink, but
fuzzy? Really?

"Can we negotiate another hour of play time? No? Then can we dim the lights please? Maybe put a blanket over the cage so it doesn't seem like we're actually locked up?"

They're not high maintenance. Not at all!

You can say no to this face?

"Can you please keep the noise down? All that cooing and staring at me is creeping me out. Stalk much?"

By the way, I'm a big deal. A really big deal.

Good night!

60 to 0 in one blog post!

Now, get back to work! But first, you have to tell me what you're working on.  =) Go get coffee. I'll wait. Leave a comment.




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Battling Constructive Criticism - Ferret Style

Scholarly ferret has answers.

There are many things we'll hear from critique partners during our writing journeys. I've heard them about my stories and you'll hear them about yours, if you haven't already. These words are hurtful when you first hear them. After all, writing fiction is an art form and the creative soul cannot be judged, for art has value only to the artist. But if you want to sell your art, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny, right?

I encountered such criticisms in one of my first creative writing classes and I can tell you my reaction wasn't pretty. I'd spent almost $400.00 to take this class and I had better not hear anything but how great my writing is and how wonderful my story.

That didn't happen, unfortunately. I heard many things, and I'm about to share them with you. Trust me, I was steaming mad. The vulgar gestures I produced after having read the "constructive criticisms" of my classmates, went largely unnoticed, mainly because it was an online class and my computer shielded me from the rest of the group.


Q: Whose story is this?

A: What the hell are you talking about? It's my story, bitch!

Just kidding. When I was first asked this question, I wasn't sure what folks were talking about. I've introduced three characters already, so obviously it's about "at least" three characters, right?  ...right?

Confused ferret asks question.

It's their way of saying that they believe a story should have one main character and that character should have a story all about them and their journey. Fine and dandy! I get it. For new writers, maybe it's smart to stick to this "template" but seriously, there's more than one way to write a story folks.


Q: What is the main goal of your character?

A: Shouldn't you read more than the first chapter before you ask that question?

This is no joke. Why do you have to know the goal of my character when you start reading the story? Do you want to know the goal in the first chapter so you can then decide whether or not to buy the book? Is more than 15 minutes of reading in Barnes & Noble too much time to waste deciding whether or not the goal of my character is important enough to fork out $5.99? Read the back cover!

Angry ferret's favorite acronym RTFM

Okay, so the goal of my character is to travel to China, unlock the mystery behind the ancient Chinese secret, and rescue the world. Tada! End of story in only one chapter. Chapter Two: Does the Character Meet Her Goal?


Q: Do you expect us to believe your character actually drove off that cliff and survived?

A: It's fiction! 

The answer to this question is obvious. No, I don't expect you to believe it because it didn't happen for real. It happened in my story, and my story is fiction. If you do the same things my characters do and think you'll get away with it, then you deserve to die! Much like the Mountain Man.

Ferret wants you to chill.

Q: Couldn't you change it to read more like "blah blah blah blah blah, "blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?"

A: No, because then it would be YOUR story, not mine.

Writers are so funny when we critique other work. We all do it, but let's be honest. When we like something, we always want a crack at it to see if our version will sound better, look better, smell better, or taste better. Just like chefs, there's always a twist to make it better. Just remember, it's my food you are sampling. If you like it, get the basic recipe. You can always add your twist to it in your own kitchen, when you make your version.

Ninja ferret is not happy!

Q: Why is there so much head-hopping going on here?

A: What the hell is head-hopping?

I seriously did not understand this whole concept of head-hopping. It made me angry for so many people to tell me I was doing this when I didn't even know what it meant. In the voice of a whiny, little brat, "How does Jane know that John is feeling sad? She's not privy to his thoughts."

Can you guess ferret thoughts?

Um, I'm the author writing the story. Jane doesn't need to know that John is sad. I'm telling you he's sad! I know he's sad and because I know he's sad, Jane knows he's sad, and now so do you! Now shut up and read the rest of my story.


Do you recall any criticisms which made you feel immediately defensive about your writing? Please share!



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Do You Know Me? Crossword Puzzle

I found this fun puzzle maker online today. The answers can be found on my blog by using my simple search function. If you enjoy filling this out, create one for yourself at the puzzle site and invite your readers to learn more about you. Let's get interactive! I'm on vacation this weekend so I get to play just a little.

Relating to characters is so easy when they are doing things we enjoy. Why not crossword puzzles?

"I need another word for convince."

"How many letters?"

"Four."

"What about urge?"

"That doesn't fit."

"You said four letters."

"Yeah, but the third letter is an A." After a brief moment in thought she says, "I got it. Sway."

Bret wonders why she even asks anymore.




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