Joyland by Stephen King - A Carnival Itself

I just finished Joyland, by Stephen King. It is a Hard Case Crime book and a very different feel for a King novel, at least it was for me. Maybe he's getting older and this is the first one of his books I've read since Gerald's Game, published over twenty two years ago. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it tremendously, I did. It was just different.

The story's narrator is an old man, reminiscing about his years as a newbie carny worker at an amusement park known as, none other than, you guessed it...Joyland! It is a place filled with lots of movement, visuals, smells, sounds and it's a reminder to me how King manages to keep one in the story. With a carny killer on the loose, a story unfolds revealing lost love, binding friendships, and a summer to remember.

This novel was a page turner for me. Not from the standpoint of a King fan, but as a reader who doesn't have much time to find herself engrossed in a lengthy story. I've picked up books which are fast paced and never finished them because work, family, and other things tend to come up, whisking me away from my chosen novel.

This was not a fast paced read, but a thorough exploration of a carnival and its intricate involvement in bringing plot points together while the more intimate story unfolded. There are several reasons why Joyland kept me engrossed.

1. The reader stays in the setting, never (for a lengthy period of time) being removed from the fictitious world that is Joyland.
2. Who cannot relate to carnivals? Funnel cakes, cotton candy, rides, games, and the pretty girl walking away with the giant stuffed animal you could never figure out how to win for yourself. It's all there!
3. Young love and all those things that go with it: the silly, the embarrassing, and the unforgiving. King never forgets to bring us back to these events through his characters, and very well-developed they are.
4. The crimes never detracted from the story. They were the underlying pieces which kept me motivated to move forward, but the characters and the setting are what kept me in place, wanting to read more, never chancing to dog-ear a page unless I absolutely had to.
5. The world is filled with a new language, clearly translated as carny talk. You'll find a new appreciation for all things carny the next time the annual fair comes to your town!

I have a renewed interest in reading again, thanks to King's Joyland. Try it out and let me know your thoughts. If you've read it already, do you agree or disagree with these key points? If you haven't read it yet, what was your favorite King novel thus far?

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A Celebrity Picture Story

I know you all have been wondering where I've been for the past week. Not.

Tim and I visited Washington D.C. and met my sister and brother-in-law there along with a childhood friend and her husband. We showed up on the red carpet, under-dressed for the occasion I'm sure. But it was fun and nobody said a word about our attire. As a matter of fact, they were pretty stunned to silence. It was awfully quiet!

Firstly, we were greeted by the lovely Marilyn Monroe, just as gorgeous as ever. What do you mean she's dead? Look at her! She's literally singing Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

And by the way, after she greeted the philandering...er, President and First Lady, I made it a point to encourage the two iconic figures to enjoy our company. They could hardly refuse.

I'll try not to annoy you too much, Mr. President.

When you start mingling with the heavy duty crowds like the political figures, they get a little uppity at times and think they can run you off by making you feel like you don't belong, but Tim fixed that very quickly. You have to treat his wife (that's me) like excellency or you'll be the one high tailing it out of there. Get it?

Beware, I have a lighter in my pocket.

Anyway, egos flared, tempers culminated into a standoff, but soon enough all was well and we moved on. Why? Because, someone got Tim's attention and his man hairs settled into a nice down pelt.

So this is how you're supposed to treat them...

Julia Roberts made sure he felt at home in the star-studded atmosphere. Watch it, Missy. I can assure you he's not going without a fight. I have to warn you, I pull hair and it hurts. Plus, he doesn't like big teeth.

So now I'm forced to lure my man away from the clutches of the tooth fairy and what better way than to have Mr. Clooney propose to me!

Sorry, Amal, but I think he just got tired of your good looks and humble attitude. I promise you, I won't be signing a pre-nup. There's a price for everything, but I'm priceless. Ask Tim.

Why yes, George, but the pre-nup is a no go.

Alas, I cannot compete with these Hollywood types. They come out of nowhere! How do I show Tim that I'm the better catch? I don't have the money, the fans, the looks, the ASS. I mean look at THAT!

He DID put a ring on it!

Beyonce's got all that, plus a mean ass look on her face. Does she have to rub it in so nastily? Men will be men, I guess. A warning to you lovely ladies out there. A cheater is always a cheater. If he does it to me, he'll do it to you. You haven't won anything! You'll see. Karma's a bitch.

Mmmhmmm. Go on, girl!

So what do we do to keep our marriages going? How do we compete in a world filled with people who believe that beauty is the catch-all when it comes to mating? We put our men in the field, that's what we do!

Sharing strategy!

Keep them busy. Allow them to compete and play hard. There are plenty of sports for them to get involved in and to help blow off testosterone.

Sharing jabs!

Soon enough, they will be so busy patting themselves on the back, shaking hands with their competitors.

I thoroughly enjoyed kicking your ass at Mario Brothers.

They will encourage one another, build future bonds, and share fist bumps.

 and all the while...back at the fortress....we're helping out as best we can to make this a better place, opening lines of communication, and sharing knowledge.

You missed a comma. See, right there.

We're bringing our passions to the table and opening our worlds to younger geeks who are eager to contribute!

See that? It's an integral. Amazing stuff!

Seriously, I had no idea this would turn into a "making progress in our relationships" type of post, but there you go!

And, that's a wrap!

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5 Great Customer Service Techniques

I've noticed how much customer service has slipped in the past several years. The further up north I go, it seems to get worse. However, I think we may be making a comeback in recent times. I've been paying particular attention to the way I receive information from care providers over the phone. Some are good and some are piss poor. For the most part, I've decided those things which worked for me recently might be basic techniques I'd never noticed before.

So I thought, since this blog is about making progress, why not share my thoughts on how I feel about customer service and improving the user experience over the phone. After all, I'm the user in these instances and I can tell you, I very much liked these types of experiences.


Here are 5 things to remember when you want to provide great customer service.


Apologize

When you have a customer on the phone and they are obviously frustrated, sometimes the easiest way to get them on your side is to apologize for the fact they are experiencing difficulty. It may not be your fault and there may be very little you can do to assist with their frustration. The fact that you apologized will make them feel you have taken responsibility for whatever it was, it doesn't matter.

Customer: This is unacceptable. I've been waiting over 5 minutes to speak with someone!

Customer Care Provider: I'm sorry you experienced such a long wait. I'll try and help you as quickly as possible. How may I start?

Now, how can anyone argue with that? I certainly didn't.

Show gratitude

When a customer asks you for something and you are able to provide it for them, don't make them feel like you're doing them a favor. Make them feel like they just gave you an opportunity you hardly ever get. After all, not everybody has a job these days.

Customer: I need to find out what this unusual charge to my account is and where it came from. Can you help me with this?

Customer Care Provider: Absolutely! 

Answer first

Don't answer a question with a question. Give a positive answer first, then ask your question. If you ask a question before answering theirs, you're making them feel like they are not the priority. No matter how trivial the question, answer it first before requesting other information.

Customer: I need to order a new debit card. Can you help me with this?

Customer Care Provider: Absolutely! May I have your account number please?

Conserve time

When a customer provides you with information, thank them. Trust me, they do not want to have to repeat themselves and you shouldn't have to read back their information to make sure you got it right. They have to confirm other information anyway so why waste time reading back something you obviously got right? Procedure? Policy? Talk to your supervisor and get that crap changed. It's annoying as hell.

Customer: My account number is 55534566787-1.

Customer Care Provider: Perfect. I'll check that for you. Just one moment while I pull up your account. For security purposes, can you verify your mailing address?

If they don't give you the correct mailing address, there is the opportunity to explore and provide further validation. If they do provide the correct mailing address, you've just saved some time for your customer.





Circumvent transfers

Never tell someone to hold while you transfer them to the correct party. It's the same as telling them it was their fault they got the wrong number. You want them to feel like they got the right number and you're just the person to connect them with the mortgage department.

Remember, it's not called a transfer. Transfer means you're giving the task to another party. When you ask someone if you can connect them and they agree, you are now performing a task you were asked to do.

Customer: Hello, I need to check the balance on my mortgage.

Customer Care Provider: Of course! Donna will be able to access that information for you. Would you like for me to connect you?

Customer: Yes please.

Customer Care Provider: I'm happy to do so, sir. Please hold while I connect you. Have a great day.

Why am I posting my thoughts on customer service today? Because, lately I've noticed this growing trend on how I'm treated on the phone when I interface with different organizations. I didn't use to get this level of care, and now I'm really happy to see that people are starting to enjoy their jobs again.

Or maybe I've become more important suddenly?  *brief silence*    ....nah


Have you noticed any trending techniques in the field of customer service?



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Google Store Addition - My New App

My first app!

So I haven't posted anything in over a week. Blasphemous, I know! I've been busy at work and so much is going on these days I feel like I can't accomplish anything. Changes at work and a little side action (if you know what I mean). That means I'm learning new stuff! Get your minds out of the gutter.

Much of my evenings has been dedicated to learning how to use the tools needed to build mobile apps. I started out making changes for an organization and once I updated theirs successfully, the bug hit me. I needed an app to compile all my art and social outlets together. What writer wouldn't want something like that, huh? Their own portfolio portal! Was that redundant?

Every evening at exactly 7:00, I would shimmy up to my iMac and plug away at my design. It's not the bestest and greatest I'm sure, but it's MINE. Kind of like the draft manuscript that you just finished. You know the feeling, you just have to publish it right away, it's just that awesome. Shameless to say, I did just that.

So, only my blog readers know about this link and I only have an Android version published. I have an iPhone distribution ready, but haven't had a successful upload into the Apple Store just yet. Coming soon.

A peek at my fashion web template

Be kind. Please use the app and give me feedback. Even if you only download it to test it out and never use it again. I'm sure to improve. If it totally sucks, I need to know this too! Just as if in a writing critique group, let me have it. I will update and make it better, I promise.

Notables, as in Diane Carlisle notable projects. I take checks. No seriously, it's FREE! But if you want a website, I have to charge for that. I'm completely affordable. The app has a "get a quote" form.

P.S. I'm willing to hire a graphics artist to redo my header on the app. Any takers? I know it sucks. Use my app contact form and shoot me an estimate.



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New Mobile App Coming Soon

I have been fortunate to have had opportunities to learn new things and this week hasn't been much different, only I've had my head in the clouds (literally, so to speak) learning how to build mobile apps for Android, iPhone, and iPad devices. I've had a heck of a time learning, but it's coming along. The more I learn, the more I realize my potential for such good AND bad.

With learning comes mistakes, and boy have they been painful. Today I discovered that I caused another developer a slap on the hand for infringement violations. It was all innocent, I promise!

Anyway, it's been cleared up and I get to keep my developer accounts with Google and Apple. What a scare! I know this seems a bit over-dramatic, but hey, this is a blog, not a news site. Stay tuned here though. My subscribers and readers will be the first to download and test out my new app, so stick around!

What will you be able to do with my new app?

1. Get a quote for web design, photography, content management, and editorial services.
2. View my extensive portfolio in one place
3. Submit guest posts and ideas for my blog
4. Request a review of your book
5. Purchase my books (short stories for now, I'm working on it!)

Do you think there is a demand for this type of mobile functionality?

Until next time, don't go causing people to get in trouble for intellectual property rights violations (unintentional), unless of course you're just learning the ropes. Then you get a couple of screw ups before you'll be held accountable I'm sure. And as my friend Randi always says, "Stay classy, Blog-o-sphere!"

Okay, that wasn't infringement. I totally gave her credit.





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Things Got Ugly at PCB

We're in Panama City Beach this week, so if I missed posting anything for you, you now know why! Actually, I felt an urge to share something with you. Knowing I love to break rules whenever I have the chance, I thought you might enjoy my latest display of rebel awesomeness.

These were my own empties. Multiple rules were broken on this evening.

1. Alcoholic beverages were consumed in the spa
2. Motrin for our aching backs were consumed before entering the spa
3. No adult supervision existed for the lot of us
4. We did not seek consultation from our respective doctors as they were not available

Then we made it out to Coyote Ugly where most of us rode the mechanical bull. I didn't make it onto the bull, mainly because I didn't want to make a fool of myself. I discovered the next morning, I'd found myself on the bar instead. So much for making of the fool.

Here's my son Cameron's attempt at mastering the beast. Sorry, but I have confiscated and destroyed all videos pertaining to the bar.

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5 Motives For Animals in Fiction

I asked Tim to recall all the fictional novels he's read (or movies watched) where animals played a part. I did this because I was curious to know what other readers would come up with, not just me. He named the novels (movies) and I noticed there were, to me, different motivations for animals appearing as characters, even the walk-ons. These are the ones I found.


Please Like My Protagonist

At most conferences I've attended and online writing classes I've taken, the speakers have discussed this thing referred to as "pet the dog" which simply means get the reader to instantly like your protagonist. Whenever any character shows affection toward an animal, it will create this connection with your reader. How about an Orangutan? Remember Clyde in Every Which Way But Loose and its sequel? Best sidekick EVER!

Here's a quick example. When a cop picks up that cute puppy in an alley while searching for some bad guy, notice he gives it a quick snuggle before tucking it safely behind some dumpster? Now, back to the bad guy and doing the much needed deed, moving the plot along. It's not realistic, but it works. The cop has a soft spot, even while in the middle of a very dangerous chase. This cute scenario doesn't really belong in the story, but it serves one of two purposes for supplying elements which seem out of place. It adds to character development. The other would be to further the plot, which it does not.


Creating Conflicting Emotions

Two elements I love to experience at the same time are feeling my love for humanity and feeling love for a helpless NON-human type. How does one promote love for humanity? Um, you have an horrific animal which causes incomprehensible damage to society. Think King Kong, Godzilla, Food of the Gods, and Jaws. It's man against this indestructible creature wreaking havoc upon their villages.

And don't give these creatures any qualities that make them human, like King Kong actually falling in love with the girl. NOooooooo!!!! Now we have to like the creature, and that defeats the purpose of bringing society together to kill it. Talk about conflicting emotions for your readers.

In Jaws, the mother was protecting her 15 foot baby the fishermen killed! Those bastards. Of course, any mother would go after them murderers, and with great vengeance. How do you hate such a creature?


Creating Horror and Anticipation

One of the things in fiction that has a remarkable affect on readers, and I say this from my own experience as an avid reader of horror, is the mention of acts performed by domestic animals, acts we cannot deny but we cringe knowing of them. Like the cannibalism of hamsters when one of their own becomes ill. No, our pets are not cannibals!

Authors remind us of the horrors we wish to deny. They torture us with these tidbits of information, reminding our kindred of the evil which exists in our innocent world, the one we so desperately seek to escape. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

A stray dog wouldn't eat the scalp off a dead man. But, what if he'd been abandoned and was hungry, like the one in Stephen King's Gerald's Game? I think King described it like the sound of pulling up carpet? I don't care how hungry my Maggie ever gets, she'd never eat my scalp!

Promoting Religious Views

So, what does it say to you, the reader, when you read about the family pet who died? Pet Sematary is an example. Karma? Did you get a sense that the author had a particular religion they were depicting or did it just seem creepy to you? Coming back to life: evil times 3! I'm not suggesting this was the intent, but when I read the book, I felt a lot of ceremony in it.


Political Dissidence

Animal Farm is a great example of this, but that's literary stuff, so who cares? :)  Read it!

I use animals in my short story Snow Leopard. The cats in my story are major characters and they play a very prominent role in how I feel about political dissidence in America today. They are tools and my intent has always been the hope that my readers will relate on a deeper level at some point.


Okay, I admit, I'm being overly harsh on the writers out there, but I want to know. Do you think about why you include animals in your scenarios? Do you ever wonder why you find the need to include them? I think it's okay to do it, I just wonder if you know why you do it and do these specific reasons I point out hit the mark?



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